If someone else somehow finds it within them to start a conversation with me or if I happen to go with at least one friend, I’m fine. But what do I do when neither of those things happen?
I often end up just being there, by myself, standing in the middle of a crowd just looking around awkwardly with a drink in my hand that’s halfway empty. Everyone else is already in the midst of a conversation. Can I really just butt into some random conversation between two or three people? I genuinely feel like that’s not something I can do, like they’ll just think “why is this guy talking to us?”
I’ll notice myself making eye contact with some people several times. Am I supposed to talk to them when that happens? Am I supposed to just stop and say something? I genuinely just don’t know what to do at a party when I’m by myself and nobody else talks to me first. I end up leaving these parties early because I’ll just feel so uncomfortable being there alone, even when I genuinely want to stay.
4 comments
Usually I’ll try to find the group that seems the friendliest, and I’ll go over and say “Hey can I join you guys? I’m [name]”
Hopefully, they introduce themselves too. Then I’ll ask them a question to start the conversation.
If the group isn’t friendly then I just move on. I’m not going to click with everyone and there’s usually someone so I find a connection to.
Find a group that isn’t standing too closely together. It is more inviting if there are already spaces to kind of slide into. Jump in when there’s a lull and say has anyone had the crab puffs? They’re awesome! Or how do you guys know the host? I think finding a common interest no matter how random allows people to mesh into an already established group. They’re at a party. Not many people are hoping to be totally left alone while at a party. Jump in, find your immediate icebreaker and go from there. Happy holidays!
Sit somewhere comfy and chat up the other lazy person who sits next to you.
If even that doesn’t work, the party is too cliquey. It’s the responsibility of the host to prevent inviting one or more unfriendly cliques to a party, and if they didn’t succeed in that it’s better to cut your losses early and leave. Don’t feel bad, it wasn’t your screwup.
I really like going to parties alone it’s a fun challenge. Try sparking a convo near the drinks area while people are pouring up my go to *looks at someone’s bottle* “I never had that before, how is it?” You can mix it up however you want or whatever music is playing in the party if you’re remotely interested in the song ask someone within the drink area what song is playing and be like “oh! I thought it was -random music artist-, are you a fan of them?” Hopefully this helps