I know him from last year since we were classmates. And he was with someone else at the time, and we were friends. And the beginning of this year he broke up with his girlfriend ( It’s been about three months now). And since, we were getting closer and closer. But the thing is I have never been in a relationship before and I like him a lot but I have some issues due to my childhood traumas. Like it is hard for me to trust people or to get close to them.
I also feel sometimes that he has more character than I do and experience with dating that I am scared to get manipulated. I feel like I am overthinking the whole situation.
The thing is also that we are not from the same culture and even if I speak his language just fine, I still find it hard for the conversation to be fluid.
We talked about it (to be in a relationship) and he said you do whatever you want and that the point is that I feel good. We confessed that we had feelings for each other too. I also asked him if he was really ready to get into a relationship after his breakup and he said yes. Honestly at first (two months ago) he told me he would take his time and that if he wants to do something it would be because he is sure about it, yet I feel like he should take more time.
I am a little confused because of the situation and I don’t know if I am overthinking or if this is just a normal period for everyone especially it is my first time.
TL;DR!- I don’t know if I am ready yet to get into a realtionship.
1 comment
Your ready for a relationship when your relationship when your ready, there is no manual, no magic 8 ball, not even guidance in the Bible that can help with “when is the right time”. This is your first relationship, and you have fears, that is perfectly normal. You have fears, and what looks like a pretty bad case of the “what-ifs”. The problem with what is, is, it’s contagious, it spreads, there will always be more to worry about. But, how will you know if your fears are valid or not? Your right he “could” be manipulative, he could also not be. He could have more “character” he might not. He might be the zodiac killer, he might not. With exception to the last one, the only way your going to find out, is by either dating him, or observing him date another. If he dates another, how are you going to feel watching him with another girl? Then, what if they fall madly in love, get married, have kids, now it’s 20 years later, and your what-ifs turn into why-didnts. Why didn’t I date him when I had the chance, why didn’t we get married, why didn’t we have kids, why didn’t I tell him I liked him, why did I wait.
Your young, the chance of this guy being the “one” are slim, but, you have to start somewhere. Just realize that the decision you make now, does not need to be set in stone. If you date him and he does turn out to be manipulative, you can always break up with him. But, if he dates someone else and they work out, there is nothing you could ethically do to change it.