My best friend has gone off the radar for like 6 months since he got a gf. He barely answers messages and never initiates hanging out anymore. We’re all in our late twenties so I get that we’re in a time period where we get married and relationships get serious, but it’s still a dull situation. I’ve been in long term relationships and always made time for my closest friends, even in the honeymoon phase

29 comments
  1. Some ppl just don’t have time to juggle more than one close relationship. I just let them do their thing.

  2. 6 months is quite a long time to wait for anybody. You’ve tried to reach out and you got nothing. I suggest you move on.

  3. It gets worse when guys have kids. Yah, some guys are just like that. They go all in with their relationships and basically let the rest of their life go down the drain. You won’t hear from them again unless something happens with their relationship.

    We’re still friends but I realistically just don’t expect them to be around much and its never really the same after that. I tend to make more time for the friends who do the same for me. Friendship is always a two way street.

  4. He’s my friend, I expect it. First off I’m happy that he’s found someone that he wants a relationship with, and not selfish about them being off the radar.

    And they do the exact same when it’s me that goes off the radar, we’re friends no matter what.

  5. That’s what happens when you start growing up. You get a girl, your working and you still got to have alone time. It’s natural and you shouldn’t take it personally. He’s also in the honeymoon phase of the relationship so it should level off at some point and he and his girl will need a bit of space. But just to warn you once kids come in the picture that’s when you guys will likely not see each other for long periods of time

  6. I don’t believe in relationships’ hierarchy, neglecting friends when in a romantic relationship is such a common and accepted behaviour but it’s a personal (and questionable lol) choice and it shouldnt be taken as the standard rule. Our world is not meant to be shared with only one person imho.

    He is taking you for granted because he probably thinks he is already fulfilled with his gf and he wants to give all his attention to her. However 6 months is such a long period, and if he does not put in the effort to maintain an actual friendship with you it will end inevitably.

    You can already start moving on as it’s clear that his life choices are incompatibile with your needs or you could directly express to him that your friendship is fading away and are worried, state what you want from your relationship and see if he is willing to find a compromise

  7. Brutal. He sounds pussy whipped; unless he’s extremely busy he should always have spare time to text and hang out at least once a month.

  8. If I can’t help make my friend’s lives easier, then the least I can do is not make their lives harder.

    Leave the door open, let them know you’re always happy to hang, but don’t give them shit about having a hard time balancing things.

  9. Deal-breaker if she bitches about friend time. If I’m made to feel bad about seeing friends somewhere once or twice a week, it’s the boot.

  10. You give him space, unfortunately that’s how it is with a lot of people they tend to lose themselves in New relationships, all those 6 months is a bit long depending by how off the radar he is, you’re still each other’s boys no matter what

  11. You wish him well, because if you are truly friends it will not matter how much time has passed.

  12. Lol same boat. Best friend started someone and now my inbox is empty where as before we’d chat it up

  13. I understand they’re human and they’re going to do human things. People come and go. It doesn’t make me care any less for them, my doors are always open to the people I’ve called a friend. If they’ve disappeared for what ever reason, I wish them well, I hope all is good, and I’ll look forward to connecting again some day.

    I see it this way because if I were to disappear for what ever reason, I would like to be still cared for the same. My absence is not a reflection of my feeling. Life happened.

  14. I like to think that I am low maintenance friend.
    If a buddy of mine goes off radar due to him spending time with his gf, then so be it, neither is it my decision nor is it something that I mind. If he is a friend then whenever he needs, I’m gonna be there, and vice a versa.
    But each friendship is different and it depends on the dynamics of that friendship.

  15. Find other friends. What happens when they’re single again and they suddenly want to hang out en masse? You’ll probably resent them. Lose-lose either way.

  16. This is fairly common. I’ve lost many friends who got married, some had kids, and they cut off 100% contact with any old friends.

    I understand that people get busy and have more important priorities. Some friends just fade away fast, even ones you have know for decades and were very close to.

    The sad thing, I’ve seen some of those ghost friends get divorced then after years of ignored messages suddently want to be friends again. I am polite, but don’t invest much into the friendship with someone who will likely drop you in an instant.

  17. It’s expected within our friend group.. approximate 6 month minimum contact during establishment of a new relationship, then bit by bit, they will start reintegration with the added +1 for group events like birthdays when it’s meals out/parties.
    We hang as ‘lads only’ maybe 2-3 times a month where we meet up and get to let our hair down, and this helps keep us sane, then it’s back to being responsible partners/parents til next time. The misuses/significant others know where we are, who we’re with (some even enjoy the night of peace and quiet), and everyone’s a winner!

  18. I got this going on right now. It’s disappointing, but it’s his decision so if he’s happy with how he spends his time then that’s fine. I’ll settle for just chatting and find new friends.

    Although there’s cases like mine where I’m fairly sure he *isn’t* happy with the lack of time we spend together. Whenever we do talk he tends to reminisce and seems regretful we haven’t interacted as much. Those are the signs imo that someone involved should do something to change the situation. The thing is, he’s the one with a full schedule so it’s harder for me to be the one planning things. What I do is let him know I can make myself available whenever he is free.

  19. Leave them to their thing. Their loss. Hurts me but it’s not mine to change. Their life, their priorities. Exactly in that situation now since two and a bit years ago. You need to find other friends, other hobbies and move on. Sucks but what you gonna do. They’re not gonna choose you over their gf so…fuck em.

  20. F*ck em, If their relationship fails and he tries to get back in contact its up to you if you want to let him back in. Two months, please believe he is NOT thinking of you. Anyone agreeing with what your ex friend did is completely wrong. You can’t call, txt, or hang out with your bro once. Ignoring his call just bc he’s getting some new strange is pathetic. Move on, find friends who won’t cut you off bc they started dating someone new. If he crawls back, tell him to eat a d*ck sandwich 🥪.

  21. i feel sorry for your friend. being up a girls ass (not in a good way) is a recipe for relationship disaster.

    if the relationship lasts for more than a year and you are also in a long term relationship, then gets your GFs together. once they become friends it’s easy peasy.

  22. For me I moved on after my friend had his gf as never contacted me back, funny enough then contacts me back when single and I put on blocked

  23. Accept it.

    It happens when everyone gets a girlfriend. Just be there for him when it runs it course.

  24. There are numerous women who attempt to separate the man from his friends ( the ones she doesn’t “approve” of ). One of the Red Flags™. It looks like this is one of these women — she thinks that she has to police everything he does. Be there for the time when he realizes that he has been separated from his friends, and he wants to get back in touch.

  25. Then he isn’t your friend. Had this happen and luckily I reached out later and we talk a lot more now and he realizes his mistake.

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