I’m caught in the middle between my brother and my mother. They hate each other and I think my big mouth made things worse. Help.

For context, I have a strained but budding relationship with my (27f) mother (50sf). She was incredibly abusive when she wasn’t absent all the way from my childhood until I was 21. Then I went NC with her until she started to try to contact me recently.

I have a brother (29m). He completely cut out my family (paternal and maternal) once he turned 18, while I remained low contact with most of them. I hate burning bridges- even if those bridges are towards my abusers.

Anyway, my mother recently wanted to restart a relationship with me, I reluctantly agreed to meet her, solong as certain subjects weren’t broight up to open old wounds. She revealed to me she has Cancer, and though the treatment seems to be improving, she asked menot to tell anyone or give out her contact information.

I was fucking stupid, and only managed to keep one of those promises.

I called my brother later that night and, thinking he had a right to know, told him that Mom had cancer. He told me that if she wanted to contact him, she could call him, but he would keep her blocked everywhere else.

Upon our second meeting, I asked my mother if she wanted to contact my brother- She said absolutely not- that my brother was a bad person, a gambling addict, and an alcoholic- and that he would only try to manipulate me. I disagreed- my brother isn’t an alcoholic or gambling addict, and I never got the impression he was trying to manipulate me. I made this clear, still, she disagreed with me, and made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him.

Brother called again, asked what our mother thought- I told him quite bluntly, that she didn’t seem interested in a relationship with him. He pushed for details, and I told him that she had a really wrong impression of the kind of person he was- didn’t go too much into detail, but that was enough to set him off.

He asked for her phone number.

I refused, telling him that I already overstepped her boundaries by disclosing her medical information with him- he is clearly taking this as me taking sides.

He says that “one way or another he will make his thoughts known” and now I know he will do everything in his power to contact her or send a scathing, cruel message to her like he has done before.

I don’t blame him for hating our family, I really don’t. They were incredibly abusive- but he always got the impression I was “the favorite” because while he was getting into screaming matches with our abusers, I took the abuse quietly until I moved out. I also never fully cut contact with them for the sake of diplomacy, because I’m a pretty weak willed person and hate confrontation.

Now I’m scared I started a war between my brother and mother, a war that will likely result in me being in the crossfire because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I thought he had a right to know, I’m a fucking moron and I hate myself.

My mother won’t want to speak to me again, and my brother now hates me because I refuse to divulge her contact information. I don’t know what to do. I didn’t want things to explode. He has been NC for years and I thought he’d want to keep it that way.

I don’t wish to speak ill of my brother, but he never wanted anything to do with my mother. Even when I told him about the cancer, he seemed unempathetic, saying that he wanted “some form of apology” from her in case she died. Not once did he seem to actually want to patch things up. He just wanted her to “explain herself” (which will never happen)

I don’t know what to do. I feel like an idiot. I shoild have never told my brother anything, especially knowing how much they despise each other. I just added fuel to the fire. I feel so fucking stupid I just want to drown my sorrows and wait for the inevitable crash.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

TL;DR: I told my brother about the fact my mother has cancer against her wishes- he demanded her contact information so he could demand an apology/explaination from her after hating each other’s guts for years- I refused, and now I’m waiting for everything to fucking explode because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.