TL;DR: Is it normal for an old friendship to progress so quickly now that it’s a relationship?
We have worked together for a couple of years now, and enjoyed spending so much of our free time together. And despite many drunken nights, we had never even kissed because we both respected the friendship. We really just wanted to offer each other the kind of love that’s not predicated on a relationship. Up until a few weeks ago, that is, and as we discovered, we were both absolutely crazy about each other the whole time. We both agreed that we wanted no one else and nothing more than to be with each other.
My only wonder up to this point is how quickly it has progressed. I absolutely love this girl – and we’re already telling each other that. It’s so obvious that we do, but it’s so unusual to be saying it so quickly. We talk about our life goals and how they’re completely in sync, and how much fun it would be to grow old together.
It’s not really a concern but it’s a little shocking to both of us. We talk about everything moving so quickly, but generally we just go back to being happy we’re finally together. It makes sense that it’s progressing faster than usual, I think, because we have known each other for so long already. It doesn’t feel like a new relationship. But I want to hear any outside perspectives too.
Any advice about anything would be appreciated, especially if anyone here has been in a similar situation.
Thanks!
4 comments
Three not a timeline here. I’ve known fast relationships that lasted and ones that didn’t. I would’ve married my now-husband after 6 months of we would have been older when we met. And I’ve seen long term ones that took 5 years to get married & then 1 year to divorce. You can relax about this.
It’s also great that you’ve known each other for a while now even if you weren’t dating then.
IMO if you have known each other for quite a while it’s more normal for it to progress quickly because there’s less need to be guarded and less of a “getting to know the basics of what you are like as a person” trajectory. Different relationships move at different paces, and it’s okay to move fast. Make sure you keep the rest of your social life alive and have other aspects to your life, but otherwise have fun.
A lot of the early ‘usual’ timeline is about establishing the sort of connection and rapport you did naturally over the last few years. Taking that into account it sounds like you’re just about on track.
Basically you aren’t rushing, you just fast-tracked the first 6-8 months by virtue of your prior friendship. There are a few things this won’t impact, like the honeymoon phase is still going to cover the next 8-18 months so keep that in mind and avoid major commitments like buying a house together or getting married until that storm has cleared.
It sounds like you both have great communication and awareness which will get you very far and help with any unexpected hitches this brings up. Enjoy.
My husband & I were strictly friends for almost a decade before we started dating. We met each others families and started saying we loved each other within the first 3 months of dating. There is no timeline to these things. Having a prior friendship does tend to speed things up though bc you don’t have to go through that awkward “getting to know you” phase. Just keep doing whatever feels comfortable to both of you.