Girl I’ve been seeing for some months didn’t want to see me after I told her I was feeling sick. I think it’s reasonable, but I was really looking forward to our evening. A part of me feels like if she really cared about me, she would still come. I would probably go see her, even if she had sniffles.
Would you cancel plans if your date had a slight cold?
40 comments
Yes lol I dont want to feel guilty for someone else getting sick or dying. Is this even a sane question after the pandemic we just had that killed millions?
I wouldn’t, but I have a ridiculously strong immune system. I’m not going to fault someone for not wanting to engage in unnecessary contact if they’re not as lucky as me or have an immunocompromised relation they’re trying to protect.
Yeah, if if the other person told me they weren’t well, I don’t want to be around that and possibly end up unwell too.
Maybe you shouldn’t treat basic human differences as some sort of commitment test.
This is hard lol because I suggest anyone try not to get anyone sick due to people having work lives and babies and such. But honestly I wouldn’t be as upset if she didn’t want to get sick. Some people handle being sick differently. If y’all lived together in the future I mean y’all wouldn’t have much of a choice really but I wouldn’t get too upset, FaceTime each other things will be okay. I get wanting to see her but either way that won’t determine whether she loves you or not.
My mom is really unwell if she catches a cold it could be the end of her. A date with you is not worth someone else she loves life. For all you know SHE could be the one who’s Ill and not ready to share that with you. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you.
I personally would not cancel the plans, but see if my date would be up for a cosy evening on the couch instead of going wild.
But, I would not mind a bit if a date would cancel when I have a cold. There could be various reasons and they are all legit:
– What if they catch a cold too and it affects their work/studies/responsibilities?
– They might care about you and not making your cold worse by going out on a date.
– It might not be very pleasant to spend the evening with someone who’s a little sick. Dates should be fun right?
When someone cancels on me for that, no matter how long we’re dating, I understand. Being sick is not nice so I respect when they prefer to not take that risk.
Wtf? JFC. Yes, I would. What I thought was a cold, at two points this year, started out mild but then was confirmed as really bad case of Covid and then, what I’m dealing with rn, a bad case of the flu. It’s not worth it. Just because I don’t wanna kiss someone who has a runny nose doesn’t mean I don’t like them. She also has no idea how sick you *actually* are, no matter what you say. Don’t use this as some stupid litmus test, my god
Yes, I wouldn’t go.
I think its a little different these days cause of covid . So more than likely people are just a bit more careful these days, better safe than sorry. Youre overthinking, just get well soon and make plans when youre good. Who knows maybe she’ll bring you some soup in the meantime.
I would go but my health is really good and I get sick very rarely. And usually its just a cold and I dont really mind risking a cold.
I legit went on a first date with someone let me know they had a cold. I didn’t care, just made sure not to share drinks. She was okay with it if I was. Besides, my momma didn’t raise no bih. 🤷🏻♂️
Not specifically dating-related, but contagious illness-related:
I had a lunch date with my daughter and her husband.
I’ve had a cold (not covid) for a week, and I’ve recovered but still have one of those gravely coughs.
Complicating the situation is the fact that she’s going to Kenya in a week with other family members on a 10-day safari, and if she gets sick, she can’t go.
I wasn’t thinking on these lines, my bad, but when they pick me up and I get in the car she hears my gravely cough and she asks me not to go to lunch with them.
She says over and over she feels bad about canceling me for the lunch, but I know not going to lunch with them is not worth the risk of passing my cold vibes onto her or her husband who would not be able to take the trip if not 100% well.
Mother of the year.
If I caught a cold I would be the one telling them not to come see me so they didn’t catch it.
If it were me not feeling well, I would definitely cancel. Why would I force my date to get sick? I would expect my date to cancel if they weren’t feeling well too.
Ahh if she has something big coming up or has a bad immune system I get it. By the 3-4 month mark you’d hope they’d come and look after you.
Having said that, when I’ve been sick, I don’t want people to be around me because I feel bad for them. She may be the same and just thinks others are the same.
Yes. lmao keep your sick ass at home. I’ll see you later
If the person I was seeing still wanted to see me when he was sick, I’d realize he doesn’t really care about my health. It’s not like you’re bed bound and need help. Hey together when you’re over your virus. Geez.
I have lung scarring, asthma and other fun things from colds and covid. Now that my health is at a pretty bad point, I tell people to tell me in advance if they are sick. While last flu I had cleared very well within a week, last covid infection took 3 weeks to “fully” recover. First one took months and I was spitting blood.
Im literally 25yo, and if you asked me this 2y ago I wouldnt believe you. Unfortunately, we take health for granted.
Complicated answer. Obviously if someone has important in-person work or is close with someone who is health averse then getting sick is a no-go so it makes sense why she’d back out. If that’s her case then she deserves a break, especially if things are going well.
However, if my date was sick and I liked her I’d offer to bring her some soup or something. Helping your partner is pretty important and if it’s been months I would hope she cares about you more than just company. If she hasn’t called to check in on you at least then I’m not sure if she really cares about you. Sure, there’s lots of other things she could be doing to show you love, but if she’s just canceling on you and not doing anything then that’s a red flag IMO.
No, I’m fact I also might go as far as cooking a chicken soup!
Having said that, in 30% of times I myself catch cold I have a headache and want to sleep but for 70% I’d appreciate seeing the person
At 3 or 4 months I’d offer to go take care of them. Bring them soup and flowers and some Vicks vapo rub.
> a part of me feels like if she really cared about me, she would still come
If you really cared about her, you wouldn’t want her to get sick.
My husband and I are crazy in love, at 6o and 72 we sleep together like 2 peas in a pod. However. When one of us gets sick with an infection, off we go to the guest room. The other person masks. It is not worth it to get sick from your loved one. We know it will pass, and our love isn’t gonna change, it’s part of our loved language of caring for each other to stay apart when we’re infectious.
This is a very caring thing. Accept it.
Since I work with immunocompromised individuals, yes, I would cancel, but if it were my date who canceled because they were sick, I would be sending soup
this is pathetic dude. she doesnt want to get sick and that’s totally reasonable, chill
It’s pretty selfish to think that anyone should risk getting to sick to hang out with you, regardless of how minimal you think the illness is.
Yes, because I don’t want to get sick. But also, right now there are at least 3 serious viruses circulating—Covid, RSV, and influenza—that if you get a mild case can feel like a cold, but you can infect someone else who gets a serious case and ends up hospitalized, dead, or long-term disabled. So you should be isolating unless you’ve tested negative for all three of those, and she’s correct not to see you until you’re well.
We just went through years of a pandemic and you haven’t realized that if you’re sick you should stay away from other people so as not to spread it?
I’ve been sick since my child started daycare I’m avoiding anyone who’s sick I’m sick of being sick
If you really care about her, you can find the patience to see her at another time and respect that she doesn’t want to risk getting sick.
The same cold virus can have massively different impacts on different individuals. What might feel just like annoying discomfort to one person can make another person feel like absolute garbage. We
Yes it’s reasonable to cancel in this day and age. She may not want to be exposed or have people around her that she doesn’t want to get them sick.
uh no one wants to get sick! she has responsibilities and a life, friends and family. It’s not fair to pass on sickness like that
Yes please get me sick too… I really want three weeks of the crud during the holidays…
You’d think a global pandemic would change attitudes like this but alas…
Dude, if someone is sick, unless they specifically ask you to be there to help them, just leave them alone. If you hang out with someone who’s sick, they’re not going to have a good time because they’re sick, and you’re just going to catch whatever they have. Just reschedule
Absolutely I would cancel plans. Having a cold is miserable. Not to mention, it sucks, getting sick around a holiday. She may have other obligations, Christmas parties, family, get together’s, that she does not want to be sick for. If anything, you know you’re sick, so you should be telling her to stay away for a few days until you start feeling better. Why the hell would you want to put her at risk for getting sick as well.
Absolutely not. I’m not scared of the common cold. Every single time my bf was sick I still wanted to see him even tho he didn’t want to get me sick.
Depends, I’d certainly discuss with them such as:
“hey bbcakes, you ever get that running snot feeling where you *know* you’re about to be sick? I think I’m having that now :(. I am excited for our date but I don’t want to get you sick, too. Maybe we can go there in a couple days?”
What I **wouldn’t** do, is sulk in insecurity such as this:
>A part of me feels like if she really cared about me, she would still come.
She might surprise you if you’re open about it, but it’s pointless to get yourself sick over a couple minutes of hugging or whatever.
It wouldn’t bother me to be with a person with a cold, but I would respect if they didn’t feel the same way. It’s a personal choice.
I wouldn’t care and would still want to see them but that’s just me 🙂
dont take it personally, everyone cares about health differently (especially in the post-pandemic world); you fine my guy 🙂