I’m pretty shocked tbh as I thought we were doing great. But I guess not?
He always swore he was not like those guys who would ever cheat or look around. And I believed him, maybe I was naive as he was my first relationship since high school.
We never argued so I didn’t get why he did it. After confronted about it, he broke down crying and said he did it out of curiosity as he’s only ever been with me and he wanted to just talk to others but never intended on doing anything about it. He said he’s very sorry and promised to never do it again if I take him back.
For anyone wondering, I downloaded an app that lets you see if your boyfriend is on dating apps, and It found him on there as well as the last time he swiped, which was a few hours ago. The man has been *active, active*
Anyways, I’m torn between giving him another chance as we’ve been together for so long and I love him, or walking away and letting him explore and find himself alone without me, but I won’t be coming back.
EDIT: It’s the tinder profile search by ventouri media. If this post gets taken down I’ll now blame you guys 🙃 My advice is if you feel something is off just walk away. Don’t spend any money on finding out, it comes across as desperate. Be stronger than I was. I’m now hurt and in a worse place than if I’d just walked away.
24 comments
Can you tell us how got did this and what the app is
That’s just cheating.
There’s not a single scenario that I can think of where , getting a dating app doesn’t lead to cheating or at least attempting to cheat , what’s he gonna do when he matches with a girl ? ” no I’m in a committed relationship bur I was curious “?
The only thing that is concerning if he wants you to forgive him is that he started giving you an excuse, that is not a sign that he has actually repented…
you should leave, let him explore his options since he’s so curious. IMO it’s easier to leave now, rather than later. if you’re in a relationship and happy, why be curious on what else is out there? i wouldn’t take him back afterwards either once he realizes the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
Even if he didn’t cheat on you, the intention was there. Leave him. He wants Tinder, let him have it.
Even if he was just looking around and just curious as to what’s out there, and not actually planning on meeting someone or doing anything.
He’s still window shopping, that says enough for me to gtho
My fiancé was never gonna actually do it either, then he left me and our son to fuck women he worked with and get on Tinder and Bumble. Your boyfriend is just looking for the right one to cheat with. So don’t give him the opportunity to hurt you, don’t put yourself in a situation that’s going to mess with your future happiness.
Same happened to me, i forgave him and months later i got a STD 🤡
He’ll do it again. They always say they won’t, but they do.
If you’re only 22, and he’s your first relationship since high school, then you *havent* been with him that long. Dump his cheating ass and let him go fuck whoever bc he won’t be happy until he does it.
Walk away and let him find himself alone, let him explore. Let him see what he lost. And don’t take him back.
If you allow him to cross this line, then he will cross others, because he got away with this one.
I’ve heard of guys doing this just to see if they can still “pull” girls to boost their ego. Personally, I think if you’re truly in love you’d have zero desire for any of that nonsense. I would tell him that you need some time apart to decide what you want to do. Go no contact. You can’t make any decisions with him lingering in your energy.
Get std test and break up….
People really need this advice ?
What’s the app ?
What app was this?
He will just hide it better next time
You’re 22. RUN.
Nah thats disgusting throw the whole man in the bin.
The fact that he’s “curious” means he has already checked out of your relationship. If he were happy and committed, why would he even want to know what the dating pool is like? What happens next time he feels bored? I would just end it here, he’s not showing a whole lot of respect for you.
What is this app you downloaded that shows you this op?
I would let him go. You are way too young to have to spend a lifetime with a guy who is looking for other women. Trust me, I am 45 and when I was 23 my wife was all I wanted. If he is looking already, move on.
Damn, I am getting so tired of the fake stories.
A magical app that bypasses making your own account on ALL the dating apps and still manages to find your partner despite him potentially using fake name/doctored pics?
C’mon, try harder.
You know WHAT you know. What do you want to about it?
Let’s take tinder out of the equation for a sec…
Is he so wonderful that’s cannot be replaced with anyone else? All those feelings that you get from him can easily be derived from someone else.
At 22, you can either spend the next few years crying over some boy, internalizing all kinds of awful messaging from this child… or you can find a new partner and invest time with him to build the life that you want and feel celebrated and adored.
I spent my 20s crying over a boy… believing I would never love anyone else like my “soulmate”. Ruined the best decade and a half of my life pining for him… until I got a Facebook invite to friend him… Puke barf gag!!! He was still handsome, but his personality was a huge turnoff. Because as he spent his youth trying to get laid and be an “alpha” male, I grew up and did all kinds of weird and wonderful things.
It made me sad for the girl who cried all kinds of tears over this fuqboi… and I assure you… nothing is more pathetic then a fuqboi in his 40s.
Then I met my current husband… whoa nelly! He’s hot, adores me, and joins me in the weirdness of our beautiful life together.
So, you can play this out over a long period of time wasting the beauty of your 20s crying over a boy, or cut your losses and fall in love over and over again with the world around you, because you deserve memories of fun and excitement, not tears.
You have plenty of real things to cry about when you get older. This man child should NOT be one of them.
Heal your heart, go have some fun, and remember that you deserve better!
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about using an app to confirm your suspicions, because I’m sure the people saying hateful things just don’t want to admit they’ve also been in the same situation.
Trust be told we’ve all been there in our youth at one point or another and the people accusing you of ridiculous stuff like just promoting an app are the trolls themselves and obviously lack compassion.
How you found out that he was being unfaithful isn’t important, what is important is that he was doing those thing and he’s never going to be truthful about it because that would mean losing you. Don’t let him convince you otherwise.
At 20 I dated a man for 3 years that about destroyed my confidence because he would cheat and I would believe his lies and give him one more chance to hurt me, and he always did.
Love yourself enough to walk away, it’s not going to be easy but eventually you’ll realize that he was never that amazing in the first place.