I’ve been dating her for over a year now and over the course of the past few months she has been yelling at me every other day, telling my friends how much she hates them, and once hit me in the head for not responding to her texts. She usually apologizes and always tells me how much she loves me and how she couldn’t live without me, but as soon as I make a little mistake she goes back to blowing up in my face again.
Now in this past month she has been ignoring me whenever I try to talk to her face to face, whether its watching tiktoks or texting other people, and then gets upset at me when I don’t shower her with affection. She’s only interested in me over text messages. She is also accusing me of cheating on her, I made a couple of new friends and when I talk to them she begins to yell at me and my friends.
Is this abuse? She’s become the only person I talk to, and I’d prefer to stay together or at least stay friends. How do I confront her about this?
38 comments
>once hit me in the head for not responding to her texts
I stopped reading here before commenting. Yes, your girlfriend is very abusive and you deserve better. You don’t need to confront her, she’ll probably try to manipulate you anyways. Just leave and block her. I’m so sorry you’ve dealt with this.
How is she not being abusive? I mean come on.
Yes she is and will most likely get worse over time in abusive relationships like this.
Bro if you even have to ask…
Yes
Leave her at once, nobody should be dating a narcissist at all
Yes she is abusing you and it’s not ok… you need to have her get counseling to unlearn these bad behaviors or you need to leave if she will not respect you. The longer you allow it the worse it will be.
You need to get away from that. It’s not severe abuse, but it is a form of abuse and it will become worse over time.
Yes this is abusive behavior and sadly the pattern is likely to continue until she gets help. Physical altercations are usually after mental/verbal/emotional abuse as well.
Ignoring someone is a type of narcissistic abuse. It is usually done to gain control over another person.
I am sorry that you are experiencing this.
> once hit me in the head
Never stick around for the second punch. It’s coming.
I just want to ask, like if this were a guy doing this to a girl do you think it would be abusive? She Is mentally and physically abusing you. Hitting you, screaming at you, it’s signs of abusive behavior
She is abusive and sounds narcissistic you would be better off ending things now and not talking to her because she will try to manipulate you and gaslight you into staying. Hitting another person when you’re upset is never ok. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this
Yes this abuse both verbal and physical.
Yes. She’s controlling your interactions and isolating you from your circle and the physical aggression will escalate eventually.
If you do get out, make a clean break. No contact, no friendship because ahe can manipulate you into getting back together and the cycle will continue.
You’ve recognized that this is not ok but it’s up to you to make a decision about what to do about it. My advice is to get out but it is your life and it isn’t my place to tell you what step to take.
Good luck.
All these are classic signs of abuse. She is mentally, emotionally, and now physically abusing you. This is only going to get worse and WILL NOT get better. That is a hard fact that you need to understand ASAP because the longer you take to break things off the harder it will be to leave. I say this because I have been in your shoes and it is so dam hard to cut that toxic part away, but I can promise you, after some time of being free of toxicity you will see how bad it truly was and how you deserve better. Do not try to break it off, GET OUT NOW!!!!! Good luck man
I know you love her, and you think she loves you, and that she only needs help and you can help her. It’s not the case. She won’t change. She needs to help herself. It will get worse, I promise you. Then you’ll be even deeper in the relationship.
If I were you I’d start making a plan for your escape. Where to go, money, support from friends and family. And don’t tell her, just go, she will manipulate into staying. I’ve been exactly where you are. They still beat the shit out of you 2 years in, 3 yrs in, and make you feel like it’s your fault for not supporting them.
My ex did this. Blamed everything and everyone else. Then said I abandoned him.
Don’t accept this x
This is abuse. It will get worse over time. Please get safe. Reach out to your friends. Try to find a local DV resource to help you navigate this.
No one deserves to be abused.
It won’t get any better than this. The abuse will get worse. Get out now.
Something blinds you from seeing this lady is abusive.. whatever it is she needs some help and guidance and please protect yourself
Yes, if she is physically hitting you that’s abuse… verbally aggressive, that’s abuse… don’t just walk away; run.
This is abuse.Leave her and stay away from her, you don’t need to be her friend.
Yes this is abuse. If a pussy ass dude hit me, I have MEN I can call.
Women shouldn’t hit men unless they are willing to fight like one. 🤷♀️
But really nobody should be hitting anyone.
Textbook abusive. You need to leave and no, you shouldn’t try to be friends either. She should no longer have access to you at all.
Yes
She’s abusive. Physically, emotionally, etc. Her comments about your friends are a way to try and isolate you from them.
Please try to find a way to safely leave the relationship. Talk to your support system (friends/family) for help if you need to.
wow honey, yes, this is definitely abuse. i didn’t need to read more after you said she hit you but i did and it broke my heart for you.
she is abusive, entitled, probably manipulative and definitely has anger management issues. please dump her, you deserve much better than this nightmare of a person.
Definitely sounds weird. No one should put their hands on you unless you let them. And it sounds like she has trouble communicating, which means unstable relationship in the long run.
If your best friend was in your shoes, what would you advise them?
Ditch that twat.
Yes this is emotional abuse. If it’ll be safe for you to do so, have a sit down, calm comfy environment, and discuss, tell her that is what she is doing to you and that it’s affecting you in a negative way and that it needs to change if you are going to continue to be together. You need to see action because just apologizing means nothing now. I hope that communication goes well here and if this blows up and she takes it and repeats the same patterns, leave her. This is not a healthy relationship with the way it’s going now. If you can, talk about it first cause sometimes the people in the wrong don’t know what they are doing wrong until someone confronts them about it.
She is abusive fam,then uses love bombing to manipulate you. Don’t tolerate that from her. It will get worse
Abusive people who want to control you will make it so that they are the only person in your life. They will alienate you from your friends and family so that you have to rely on only them. Abusive people will fight with you and find any way to make it your fault. They will bombard you to the point where you are upset and can’t focus, to the point of not even knowing what the fight that started it was. They go from point to point of your mistakes and flaws and don’t acknowledge their behavior at all. Abusive people also will treat you as a security blanket or favorite stuffed animal. Where they only want you when they want you and if you aren’t there for their needs and wants then you’re the problem… you’re definitely being abused and there is no way to confront her. She will blame you. She will fight and argue with you. If you tell her the relationship is over, she will cry and beg you to stay with the promise of changing. Im sorry that you’re going through this…
The relationship is toxic, and that is abuse. You have become alienated to the point where she is your only support network, and she is absolutely abusing you. If you were doing the exact things to her that she was doing to you, it would be considered abuse, right? You should start distancing yourself from her and talking to your friends and family again. If she is not willing to change and put forth the effort to make these changes, you need to leave her. Otherwise, prepare yourself for a lifetime of misery. Good luck to you
Honestly, I get the feeling she’s going to be a bit unhinged when you break it off (because she is being mentally abusive as well as physically). You have somewhere you can stay for a few days? Don’t try to stay friends. You need to block her on everything from the get go.
If you have to ask, the answer is yes.
The abuse happens then she showers you with “I’m sorry” “I love you” “I didn’t mean it” “I can’t live without you” and things are good for a little bit and the cycle repeats itself. You are in an abusive relationship. Look up the cycle. You don’t need to be with this person. You don’t need to be friends with this person. If the roles were reversed and a woman was telling you this story and asking the same question, would you consider this abuse? You need to lean on your family and friends and find a safe way out of this relationship.
Yeah it’s definitely abuse, I had the same thing happen to me in my early 20’s. She kept me away from my friends for over a year got and was very aggressive. It got so bad that my ex literally punched me in the face not once, but twice while I was driving a car going over 50 Mph just because I told her I was going to a friend’s birthday party. I HIGHLY recommend leaving her, and IF she threatens to kill herself then call the police and have her put on a 72 hour suicide watch.
Nowadays that’s a healthy relationship
I know how good it feels when she apologizes and tells you she loves you. It makes you question whether she is really as bad as all these comments say. Being “in” the situation skews your objectivity. Ask yourself, what if a friend came to you with this problem? She is 100%, without a doubt, abusing and manipulating you. Follow the advice in this thread, screenshot your convos, dump her, block her, and make sure to tell friends/family about the situation in case she tries to claim DV or similar. You’ll feel worse after doing that, but don’t trust that feeling. Stick it out. Eventually you’ll become objective again and you’ll see how necessary that choice was.