So for context my (F19) bf (M21) and I are long distance. Like 1,800 miles long distance. Have never met in person (we started talking under weird circumstances) and I have a trip a week and a half from now where I will be flying out to see him for a weekend. We’ve done lots of stuff long distance, such as sext, send nudes, have phones sex, use long distance sex toys that he can control. It’s not the sole basis of our relationship but is something we enjoy. Oh we’re also both virgins. He has more experience with stuff not involving PIV. I have none.
So we’ve been discussing this trip and every time he says something about it, he talks about us having sex, if my vagina can’t take him then he’ll use the other hole, he’ll stretch me out. He mentioned screwing around in the aquarium bathroom because we’re going to one. But I said something the other day about us screwing and he mentioned that he’s weighing the options of us doing it. He doesn’t want to do PIV if he can’t see himself dropping everything to take care of a kid if the girl got pregnant. Which I respect, I think it’s a good philosophy and my personal thoughts are I don’t want to sleep with someone I’m not serious. He said he also isn’t sure because we never see each other like ever and may decide he really wants to.
Now after this conversation, I was under the impression he didn’t plan on doing anything. But then today he’s talking mad game about his dick being so good and how my face is going to look when I see it. So can anyone tell me why it’s okay when he talks about sex but when I mention stuff, it might not happen?
4 comments
It sounds like you have divergent expectations about your upcoming trip. It’s important to openly communicate and make sure both of you are on the same page so that neither one of you has any surprises or disappointments when it comes time for your visit. Working together, figure out how to navigate physical intimacy in a way that works best for both of you, whether it means agreeing not to engage in any sexual activity at all or establishing parameters and ground rules beforehand.
Y’all are both young virgins. He is placing your first time on a pedestal because y’all are long distance and cannot have sex frequently. He needs to be pragmatic. He should be showing more grace towards you. You say y’all are having conversations but they sound one-sided to me.
Honestly: this guy sounds like he’s a 15 year old who spends too much time online bragging about “all the crazy pussy I’m getting.”
Like, he’s talking up such a big game that it screams “OVERCOMPENSATING.” Go ahead and have sex with him but for your sake, keep your expectations *really low* and also: please make sure you’re advocating for yourself and your pleasure during it. If he tries to penetrate you anally “to stretch you out” and you’re not ready for it, it will hurt like hell.
He sounds inexperienced and immature. I would manage expectations and don’t let him dictate everything. Your wants are just as valid and he doesn’t seem too concerned about them. I’ve been a young virgin in a long distance relationship before. Just be cautious about his level of commitment. Again, manage expectations! Good luck