What should I do ? My relationship is standing in an impasse.
Hi,
I’m from a country where people believe that arrange marriage is the only valid way of getting societal validation of having sex. So, when my girlfriend’s family learnt about our years long relationship they were like, “Nah! We don’t want that guy in your life”.
Well, When we met four years ago in 2018, we were in the second year of our graduation and both of us were 19. Her family was quite supportive back then because they thought we were just friends. But that bubble burst in 2020, when they found out that we are couple. It was a time of pandemic and I was suffering from a horrible clinical anxiety. I needed help but only problem was that we live extremely far from each other, nearly 41km away. So, I used to call her a lot and that her oh-so-progressive family always frowned upon whenever we talked in phone ( No video call, only phone). Then finally the judgement came in 2021. They told their daughter not to call me, text me or even try to contact me which unfortunately she obeyed due to pressure. For the last one year, we are in a relationship where we mostly talk in WhatsApp chat. No phone calls, video calls, no meet ups for months. We can barely meet and that is only possible if she can come out from her home using any valid reason like exam, or going buy books. That’s why we depend a lot on our common friends. A guy who is her best friend is a complete asshole. Two of her female friends are also like that.
For this last one and a half year, I suffered from numerous panic attacks, performed terribly in my post graduation in physics, became more and more narcissistic, cynical and introvert. I was a extremely studious student back in 2021. Now I lost focus from everything. No one calls me and there are literally no friends from I can ask help.
So please! Can anyone here suggest me what should I do ?
TL;DR
In short, I love her very much but her family is constantly preventing her to contact with me and she has to accept their terms because they provide her food support, shelter and whatever she needs to be ‘alive’. Now, I’m suffering a lot. What should I do ?
2 comments
You’re both in your early 20s. When does all this bullshit end? When you decide it ends. What would happen if your girlfriend just went ahead and did whatever she wanted to do, like going to see you? Adulthood isn’t about waiting for permission, it’s about doing what you want to do and having other people deal with it, for better or for worse.
If I hadn’t read the ages I would assume you guys were both like 16 or something…
If she won’t cut the cord and accept whatever consequences come, you have to end this and move on.