I’m a 19 year old guy who’s only had one girlfriend and gone on 3 dates in total. The last time I went on a date with my ex was 4 years ago. Since then, I’ve developed anxiety and haven’t been brave enough to talk to girls too much.
How can I find the confidence to find a girl and talk to her?
What general advice would you have for me now that I’m returning to the dating stage?
Once I make it back to the dating stage, what advice would you give me for the issue of manners versus being myself?
I can be a very sloppy eater and have a bad habit of inhaling my food from being so restless and impatient. I like to be myself, but I don’t want to scare anyone.
8 comments
A lot of guys have had zero girlfriends by 19, so you are not as far behind as you think. You are probably just fine and girls have many of the same insecurities.
Main thing I would say is start with girls that you know are in your league. Trying to date out of your league, while possible, can be mentally brutal due to all the rejections.
Reeelax. You’re gonna be fine. Just stop inhaling food if you know that’s a bad habit cause some girls find that gross.
Try the strategy of making friends with girls without secretly hoping to sleep with em. Cause girls have friends who are girls and that is one of the best ways to meet more people. You may not feel confident but you don’t have to tell everyone that.
Experience will build up your confidence.
Learn to eat slow. Read up on etiquette as that will help. This one is 100% on you and can be corrected.
Also, don’t eat on date 1. You’ll save money too. Do coffee or drinks.
I’m girl, and I didn’t had a boyfriend till this day, so it’s fine. I didn’t die yet lol
My first boyfriend I was 22. That lasted a couple months. My next one I was 23. Again a couple months. The last one stuck, sorta, at 24 (had a rough start) and it’s been 21 years. It’s perfect normal to not have a girlfriend, or limited dating experience, well into the 20s. You are totally normal. Maybe work on the table manners though. That is a turn off for sure.
Just ask there’s really no secret you ask them out they either say yes or no rejection part of it you just learn to deal with it. Confidence will come after you’ve been shot down a few times here and there you realize that there’s really not much to it it’s going to happen and you’re just get comfortable with it.
Advice on eating take small bites place your utensils down chew your food thoroughly should be at least 15 times mouth closed after you swallow your food wait about 10 to 15 seconds before taking another bite.. What’s funny is when I went to Junior high School they actually taught this.
Ok, so I will be a bit of an AH here. I think when you’re 19 and you refer to a former girlfriend from 4 years ago as an “ex”, I think you overplay what you had. I had a “gf” in sleepaway camp at age 13. The most we ever did was hold hands. By 17, I wasn’t referring to her as my “ex”. You’re a novice, as are MANY people at that age. Big deal. Let life just flow naturally. No pressure. Be sensitive to signals a young woman sends you … does she listen to what you say? Does she inquire things of you? Does she look at you when she talks to you? People have been bonding since before our species were human (I’ll assume everyone reading this believes in evolution).