Hello, I (17M) am currently in a very happy relationship with my girlfriend (17F), and she is also very happy with me.
There are never any fights anymore that can’t get resolved quickly, but I feel like we are unable to sustain a long, genuine conversation anymore in comparison to when we first met.
Of course, this isn’t an immediate issue or perhaps an issue at all as we still video call everyday and just enjoy each others company while doing our respective things.
Throughout the day we will check up on each other, and make sure we have eaten etc. and just see where we are both at.
Yet, these interactions are either very short (a few text messages here and there), or we cannot just communicate without doing something else as well (e.g. playing games together).
I think she would rather be doing something else than call me, like watching Netflix or YouTube, and then call me again once she is about to sleep and we both say goodnight.
At the same time, I do feel very loved and I make sure she feels loved too. We are both very happy still and have no issues with each other in this relationship.
Is this inability to hold a conversation something I should be concerned about?
TL;DR — in a happy relationship, but can’t sustain a conversation. problem or not problem?
5 comments
Hi I don’t think it Is something you should be concerned about you don’t need a lenthy convosation as long as you are happy and contempt around each other.thats all that matters and you know that.she loves you and you love her and that she knows how.much you.love her I think that.is all that counts but if you have any concerns about the relationship maybe talk it out with.her no relationship is perfect but plenty.things you can do to improve it actions.speak louder then words
>this isn’t an immediate issue or perhaps an issue at all as we still video call everyday
So do you talk on these calls at all? Or do you just go about your day as if there *wasn’t* someone on the other end watching and listening?
This is completely normal. There are a lot of games and tools out there that you can get to help initiate more intimate conversations between you and your girlfriend. For example, “Healthier Together”, “We’re Not Really Strangers”, etc. They’re very affordable and have some very great topics to dive into as a couple. You can even play these games with your friends.
Also, I recommend diving into her interests and talking about those – you say she watches a lot of Netflix and YouTube videos. What does she watch? Can you also watch it then discuss your thoughts? Can you two binge a show together and then bond over the characters or the plot?
There’s definitely lots of ways to create conversation, it doesn’t always come easily even if you two are in a relationship, this also takes work!
Me and my BF are adults in a year long relationship and we don’t have long conversations all the time. Even, very rarely I’d say. We spend a lot of time together after we’re finished with work and our daily responsibilities, then would lay in bed, me on his shoulder and watch out favorite show together. We made comments about the show and laugh together. Not much conversation. But that’s my favorite time of the day. I enjoy just being next to him and share that moment of relaxation at the end of the hard day, with him.
Of course, if we have issues (with each other or in life generally), we’ll have the long serious conversation to see how to resolve it. But long, meaningful, serious conversations are not every day necessity.
This is pretty common in any relationship over time. I suggest trying to find a new interest together. Plus, at your age, you most likely have pretty similar day-to-days (not trying to assume, but I was once 17 dating another 17 year old) and that could contribute to the lack of conversation topics. Trying something new might stimulate the conversation.