What’s the worst reaction a guy has had to you rejecting him?

42 comments

  1. Repeated that we were “destined for each other” (and that my boyfriend wasn’t right for me; despite him knowing nothing about my partner, not even his name) – like in the lengthy text he sent me explaining how he had a theory about how we were “reincarnated lovers” -, grabbed me and tried to forcefully kiss me, and later told me some voice was telling him to harm or even kill me.

  2. Saying he cannot live without me & threatening to end his life.

    It made me stay, but when we broke up I realised he was manipulating me.

  4. sent me a whole paragraph about how much he loved me and how he knows we’re made for eachother (even though i only knew him a week), i blocked him and then he stalked my instagram and twitter accounts, i blocked him on those too & he kept making new accounts telling me he misses me so much & that he’s about to k1ll himself. this went on for 6 months and then he finally stopped.

  7. Followed me around the internet for a couple years, periodically tracking me down to send messages wondering “how he’d let me get away” when in reality I’d not only turned him down after only one date but reported him to HR for harassment after that and quit the job over it

  8. 300+ messages on every form of social media over two days. Sent post cards and letters to my home after I blocked him on all platforms. Reached out through small claims court on my birthday over $500 I didnt owe him. Anything I see $5kish??? Goes to mediation (which you work out yourself first).

    Rip dating for two years haha

  11. He said, “Jesus Christ, you are autistic as fuck, aren’t you?”

    ETA: I don’t know if I am, as I have never been tested for that. I do have depression and generalized anxiety – my psychologist confirmed that with the assessment she gave me.

  12. The first is pretty mild with the guy telling me that “Of course I don’t want him, people LIKE ME are too selfish to care about anyone else” – this after only one meeting so he didn’t really know anything about me.

    The worst involved a person following me home and trying to start a fight with the neighbor (man) who came outside to see what was going on – then the police got involved at which point he backed down and said that he needed a psychiatrist but couldn’t afford one so wanted to do something bad enough that I called the police so they would arrest him and give him the mental treatments he needed.

  14. Wouldn’t take no for an answer. Said that because I looked at him I must want him. Assaulted me.

    We had known each other for 2 years and I never once expressed the slightest interest in him beyond occasionally chatting as friends. Just normal, casual conversation.

  15. Demanded I pay him back for the date we’d just had, even though he had offered to pay at the time.

  16. This was back in the day when I had a cheap smartphone that for some reason didn’t have the option to block calls and texts from a number, I could only block the number on certain apps (like WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger).

    Anyway I rejected a guy for lying pretty flagrantly on Tinder, he had used an online translator to speak my native language and English, turns out he spoke just a couple of phrases of my native language and very little English in real life. So we basically didn’t have a common language. Even if I had been head over heels in love, I couldn’t have seen a future. So I rejected him very politely. In two languages, lol.

    He kept sending me pictures of the spots we had hung out on our one date, including a park bench and the cafe we went to. He would do this every 2-3 months. For a *year*. Then finally I borrowed some money from my parents and upgraded my phone and the first thing I did after setting up my apps and my sim card was block him on there.

  17. Cyberstalking. He kept making new accounts on OKC and POF to try and pester me into dating him. I kept blocking him and he kept making them.

    Finally he gave me his phone number “so [I] could call [him] when [I] smarten up.” I had the police call him instead.

    And when I told him “no” the first time, I was super polite about it. “Hey, this isn’t a good match for me after all, I wish you all the best on here [OKC].” That was enough to incite stalking and harassment.

    The people who say “women are emotional” have clearly never told a dude “no.”

  19. There were plenty, nasty, vulgar, possessive, some spreading over years of not wanting to accept it, but what I found the most unpleasant was the guy I met once over a dating app. I really was all polite and kind and told him after the date that I don’t feel any connection.

    The amount of whiny accusing that hit me then makes me still feel nauseous today.

    He was gasping for air, his voice got thin, you could hear, he was on the verge of crying, his voice was loaded with tears, huffiness and anger turned contempt and he loaded it all on me. It was my fault that he was feeling this way. ‘If I was as sensitive, as I claimed to be(!), I needed to understand, this was really hard for him. I couldn’t just tell him that.’ ‘I owed him a detailed and reasonable explanation.’ He tried to convince me: ‘We want the same femundsmarka!’ As if my voiced opinion is of no value.

    I was unnerved and disgusted, but I gave in and explained it a little bit. And I guess that’s what makes it so memorable.

    He left being very dissatisfied and displaying contempt for my character. Because I told him I didn’t want to proceed after a few lines and one date, that I absolved in all kindness, seriousness and politeness. Eww just eww. All that baggage. At 47 or somethin.

  21. I’m pretty lucky. he saw me at the shops about a year later and yelled my name and ran in front of me, and said “why do you hate me?” i said “i don’t hate you, i just wasn’t interested in dating you” he kept grilling me, saying i should give him a chance, i knew there were people around so i felt safe/confident and i said “take a look at how you’re acting right now. I’m trying to walk home with groceries and you accosted me to demand i go on a date with you, why would any of that make me want to give you a chance?”

  24. Over 10 years ago a man I worked for came onto me even though he was friends with my partner. I said no and blocked him on social media. He has since tried reaching out to me on Instagram and LinkedIn multiple times over the years.

    Just last month I had an email from him saying he knew my birthday was coming up. I haven’t spoken to him since that night and he is STILL trying to talk to me.

    Men like this are the worst. Fuck off, you creep.

    Edit: Phone corrected me. Meant to say he, “came on to” me….not “came onto me” 😂 That would be a different story.

  25. Stuff like: Assault, sexual assault, stalking, trying to stab me, death/rape threats to me/my family, threats of suicide, breaking car window, etc

  27. Well, finally something I can answer as a dude as well. When I was younger I had very long, blonde hair, which made some people think I’m gay (I’m not, I was just a metalhead kid lol). So I have two stories that happened to me that made me feel bad for any girl having to deal with douche guys. The first one happened when I was 15. I had an intense argument with my dad and decided to “run away” (the shit teenagers do…). I just was going to the city and sat around on a park bench, when this guy walking his dog showed up and started to talk with me. He was obviously gay. The dyed blonde hair, the horrible earrings and his little pet chihuahua that he dressed in a pink sweater with some funny quote on it. We started to talk and he seemed like a cool dude. I told him my story and made it clear that I’m not gay (I told him I can’t go to my gfs place because of her parents, I didn’t even had a gf. And even if I would have been gay, this dude was twice my age). So he told me I could crush at his place for the night. We went to his place, played videogames and he showed his vinyl collection (which was pretty dope). When it was time to go to bed I just told him that I will crush on the couch. But he insisted that I sleep in the bed with him. I again told him that the couch is completely fine and then this dude lost it. He yelled at me, told me I’m a little brat for not wanting to sleep in the bed with him. I told him, very clearly, that I’m not gay and he told me stuff like “You’re too young to even know what you are.” I quickly left his appartement and very gladly returned home.
    Second one happened when I was waiting for my gf at the train station. A guy in his 50s started to follow me around. He didn’t say anything to me, just walking beside me and starring me down. I asked him what he wants and he answered that he thinks that I should join him for some coffee. I told him I’m not interested and he tried to talk me into it. I told him that I’m not gay and then he got angry and yelled at me “Then why are you looking like that you fucking weirdo?” Fun times!

  28. I had a beer bottle thrown at my head because I didn’t want to dance with a guy. I was one of the lucky ones, because he had shitty aim and missed.

  31. He stalks me online. It’s been 2 years. I’ve blocked him every where. He makes new accounts and messages me. He even wrote me a letter from his parents phone, had to block his parents too. We literally only had sex like twice.

  32. Once I said no thanks online and then I was called a tranny whore. Which is odd since A) I’m a cisgender female who happens to be 6′ and B) they were interested in sex with me but once it was no I was a whore?

    That one stands out but most were lesser versions of if no then you suck and I hate you now.

  33. Threatened me with suicide. Sent me pictures of him slitting his wrists “because of me”. Sent me suicide notes of his containing his social media passwords, bank info, and a written will.

    I finally had enough and called 911 on him and let them handle it. I figured that if he was serious about his desire to end his own life he should deal with the medical professionals that could help him, not me. The last time I spoke to him he was being taken to the hospital in an ambulance and he begged my forgiveness. We haven’t spoken since.

    The saddest part for me was a bunch of our mutual friends took his side. It was when I was a bit younger and I guess they didn’t see how this behaviour was wildly disturbing and inappropriate.

  34. He raped me, brutally. Took pictures that night of me looking consensual, left them in an anonymous envelope on my doorstep on Valentine’s Day. He left bruises on my chest from the rape. He strangled me which I later learned. He drugged me that night too. Because I was drugged I was so confused about that night for months. I avoided him. He somehow got my work schedule and six months later he randomly showed up at my work. I went outside and talked with him because I felt safe at work with my coworkers. He told me that from the night he raped me that “I was just as fucked up as you and I didn’t want to get #metooed by you.” That’s when I realized it was rape. I was naive. I thought he was my friend. I had known him two years. He was vetted in my social circle as a ‘good guy’. He manipulated me. He would push my boundaries. I trusted him and now I have PTSD because of him. Men are so dangerous. I can’t trust people anymore. I’m a completely different person because this man couldn’t take ‘no’ as my answer.

  35. He ended it with me. A month later he called me while very drunk and high and wanted to know if I had met someone else. I was honest and told him yes, I moved on and was fine. We lived in the same building and he was at my door a few hours later. I stupidly let him in and he cried, said he hated me and loved me. And then pinned me down and raped me to “reclaim me”.

    Also had the usual reaction from men, calling me a whore, slut, bitch for turning them down. Stalking, threats, etc.

  36. I’m usually quite careful when rejecting men, making it certain that for example if I was single, I would very much appreciate their approach and that it isn’t personal at all, just that I’m taken etc. Because I don’t want someone to lose confidence or self esteem because I was a jerk and rejected them harshly.

    One person I used to work with had I guess a crush on me and used to put small gifts in my office that I politely returned and explained why I couldn’t accept them (“you wouldn’t want your S/O accepting gifts from her male coworkers either right?”). I was standing in the outdoor cafeteria and he came over, started to smoke and asked me whether I found him attractive, I said I won’t answer that because it’s inappropriate, then he took the cigarette he was smoking and burnt himself with it in his hand (?) Made a frown face while doing it. It was really strange and he didn’t elaborate on it and just left.

  37. Told him I wasn’t able to drive to him and meet him for the first time in a snowstorm (tinder). He proceeded to pull a nice guy act and say corny exaggerated shit like, “the problem with this digital age, you’ll never get to see my smile or hear my laugh…” and tried being poetic with it like I was missing out, right?
    Well, back then I gave people more chances than I should’ve and didn’t have someone there to warn me about guys like him. So I agreed to have him pick me up and we dated a bit. He was one of the worst.
    Locker room talk about me, in front of me, with his friend I just met… He gave backhanded compliments constantly. Talked about his ex he clearly wasn’t over all the time. Then when he was over us dating, he ended it after we had sex and we were having a shower together…

    I’m leaving out a lot for the sake of this not being a paragraph but he was giant red flags I wish I would’ve known how to see. He was also one of those overly positive guys but in a fake way. He thought he was this catch and would belittle me in small ways and I can honestly say he is a guy who made me feel so horrible about myself for a long long time.

    Ladies, fellas, everyone… learn to spot the flags. If you feel a little weird about any interaction- don’t force yourself to give someone a chance. Just don’t.

  38. I said No Thank you, politely, when he asked to come round to my flat with wine that evening, having told me he’d seen me coming and going so knew where I lived. I don’t drink and had a baby at the time hence the No.

    He turned up anyway, rang every flat in my block, threw stones at the windows, left after half an hour.

    He came back every night for a week. He tried to get my neighbours to let him in. He pretended to be the fatter of my baby so they would let him in. He pretended to be a delivery worker so they’d let him in.

    He saw me by a bus stop and blocked me from getting on the bus and tried to take my baby out of her pushchair.

    He came back to my flat several times, once he tried to climb up the wall.

    He started following us in the park, shouting “Why won’t you talk to me?” Every afternoon. He started following us home from the shops. He’d turn up at the bus stop.

    He started waiting in a blind alley for us when he saw us in the park, to follow close behind me and call me a fucking bitch and Why Won’t You Talk To Me?

    He did this for two and a half years. Despite me saying No every time. Telling him to go away. Asking him to leave me alone. The police knew but he never said his name so they couldn’t do anything.

    Last time he did it was July and it was in the alley again, I snapped and screamed at him, asked him in what world does “Leave me alone” mean “Keep trying?” He seemed to get the message. But I still see him watching us.

  39. Got me drunk & raped me, followed by a solid 12 years of stalking, starting when I was 16 years old & he was 42. He manages to find a way to pop up in my life every 6 months or so. It’s fucking terrifying.

  40. I’m not sure if I should answer this. Here it goes… rape, rape, rape, attempted murder, death threats, threats (if you don’t want to be with me I will tell everyone you did this and that) physical abuse, financial abuse, emotional and verbal abuse, held hostage, stalked, lied on (like the guy telling people I slept with him and I never even touched him or telling everyone I slept with other people I never slept with) Getting bullied, getting others to bully me by spreading rumors and lies to make others hate me, manipulation, getting fired from work..

  41. He called me crying a few hours after rejecting him on the phone.

    Told me he had slit his wrists and was going to kill himself.

    Told him that was a pathetic attempt to make me feel guilty and I hung up on him. Called his best friend to go check on him at his house. then later texted me that i embarrassed him by calling his bff to do a health check on him. 😠

    Fucking guy.

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