Hello, 34m dating 29f and she’s been living with me for just over a year. We get her kids every other weekend, 7 boy and 9 girl. I think the first few months we all took some time feeling each other out and it was alright. We did some projects together, had a few outings like the park and shopping. Nothing big but it was fine. Felt organic enough
The last few visits though I guess I have been too critical of her kids, mostly the boy. My gf says im only being mean to him by correcting his behavior and im not having positive interactions with him.
I can see her side but I am at a loss for what to do moving forward. How can I,
1. Have healthy relationships with my gf kids? Like what are kid friendly conversations? For boy or girl?
2. What’s the best way to recover a damaged relationship with her 7 son? I don’t want to be remembered as moms jerk off boyfriend
I came from broken families so maybe I don’t have the best ideas of what to be. I do know what I don’t want. And that’s to be a loser who just gets mean at children. Positive comments only please
2 comments
I’d suggest two things. It isn’t your job to correct his behaviour, except if he is being rude or disrespectful to his mother.
I would strongly suggest that you take a parenting class.
The most important thing is how you interact with their mother. They will be watching you.
If you don’t get have a positive relationship with the children you should not be parenting them. Unless there is immediate danger or otherwise needs to be addressed right away, bring it up to your girlfriend for her to address with her kids.
I know it’s too late now, but stopping that behavior sooner than later is gonna be helpful.
Other than that, engage with their interests. All children have different interests and it’s hard to tell you how to interact with a kid we know nothing about. The best I can do is if either of the kids like a certain sport, video games, board games, or something, bring that into your interactions. Maybe set up a sleepover type night (I know when I was young, I loved doing this) where you get a bunch of snacks and a movie they’d like. Start a new show with them?
But mostly, keep in mind that if the only interaction you’re bringing to the table is negative, then the kid is gonna have a negative view of you. If you push a positive interaction, they’re gonna see right through that too, so whatever you do, go easy and slow.