Context: I met this guy last year when I joined the company I work for. We worked on a project via Teams but I could feel an insane chemistry. After we finish the project the office opens but we’re no longer working together (as in the same team).
I could still feel the chemistry between us but we never had a proper conversation. He’d always touch my shoulders and smile as a greeting but that’s pretty much it. Never a proper conversation.
At some point were attending a work event and he was there with his gf. I decide that as much as it makes me upset I should probably not pursue anything. He keeps flirting, liking all my Instagram posts, touching me at work and then ignoring me for a bit then being nice and warm again. This situation goes on and on for about 6 months.
Last week we attend another event with alcohol involved and he tells me that I’m very beautiful and that he appreciates me a lot. I asked him something like do you really think so and he replied something like yeah everyone does you are the most attractive woman around I just wanted to let you know but I’m a professional guy I didn’t mean to hit up on you.I told him that’s a good thing and I appreciate him for just giving me an honest compliment.
I’m so confused. He basically told me he doesn’t want to act on this but he confessed his attraction (which I could feel for miles away). We’re not friends so it’s not like we’ll keep talking but I can’t get this guy out of my mind for a year. I even dated someone and decided to stop because I felt unfair from my side because I was so attracted to this coworker. Meanwhile I never confessed this to my coworker.
What do you think? What would you do? I actually thought of trying to take things further but I have no idea how.
5 comments
He’s flirting and playing with your emotions. Bothers me he says “everyone does, you’re the most attractive”. Competitive and almost looking for bragging rights. Workplace does bring some intense and lasting relationships but the successful ones are rarely simply based on physical attraction. I know he feels like a promise to you but after a year, it seems the good will and hope is mostly in your heart and your hopes just project your own virtues on him. I’d recommend finding a way to put some distance and see if you cannot get some clarity
I don’t think he’s flirting. It would go further if he was.
I have random guys flirting with me..I just take them as compliments, say thank you but never touch. I know where I stand & I know my boundaries and they do too.
It sounds like he wishes that he was single but all he can do is flirt with you.
Leave him figure what he wants and come to you with clear offer. Pull and push is wasting your time. Tell him as much. Also, do you really want guy with gf? Isn’t his current disloyalty sufficient verdict on his character?