Hi guys, I am wondering what should I do:
I 24M am a shy guy in the first few interactions with people potentially becoming really extroverted once I get to know people more.
This is giving me some difficulties in finding a girl to date… also I never really dated because I’ve always been afraid of not being enough attractive physically (fat guy complex).
I lost a nice amount of weight (still overweight but the journey is going on) and now I have like 1% more confidence to try and jump into this very hard mission of finding a girl to date, I do not need her to be the one, just going on dates with girls would be enough otherwise I won’t have the right attitude I guess.
What’s the point you may be asking… well:
1) I do not drink alcohol and it is hard for me to go at bars/clubs and randomly approach girls, I almost never go in such places.
2) I study at the university but if I find girls at the library or gym of course they are there to work and not be bothered by me, I would feel sorry
3) Dating apps may be the key however I am still quite chubby even if I know I will look more cute when I’ll lose some more weight, this will take several months if not a full year
Therefore I probably would not get any matches as of yet even though I may have some nice pictures
How can a robust shy guy who doesn’t have much parties approach girls??
Thanks a lot for you suggestions and opinions!
3 comments
Change your stances on #1 and #3. You’re only going to meet dates by being in social settings and the apps. You don’t have to drink at the bar. Hell you don’t need to be at a bar. Just a place where people are there to be social and not doing errands.
I had a hard time meeting women until I broke myself of shyness. It takes practice, but you can totally do it. Practice overcoming your nerves and accept that awkwardness and rejection is a part of the process.
Your body shape is likely not the deterrent you think it is. I have seen some pretty fat dudes do very well with women. Your confidence is a problem. I have been at different levels of success and physical appearance in my lifetime and none of that had an impact that compared to my level of self confidence. I’m objectively worse looking than I was when I was younger yet have much more confidence in myself. My success in dating has improved greatly, and to be honest my standards are higher.
Find social functions and attend them, maker festivals, music festivals, conventions, you name it. Bars are not the enemy, there are bars that aren’t full of jackasses, go to those ones.
The excuses you give not to approach are things that many other guys just wouldn’t give a shit about and so it anyways. You are putting limits i op n yourself with those excuses?
You don’t wanna interrupt girls in the gym or in the library?
Well there is gonna be guys who will interrupt them and get success, sure they may get rejections too, but they will also get success because they are trying and you never know.
You are choosing to limit yourself for one reason only, you don’t want a bad outcome. You want to avoid bad outcomes, so you come up with excuses not to approach girls.