When did your heart change? When did you stop being who you used to be?

38 comments

1. People dont usually chance from one moment to another, unless they encounter a traumatic event.

   That being said, when I found my little brother after he committed suicide.

2. When puberty hit me and suddenly i was forced to care about different things, childhood was over before i even realized

3. When I came out! Suddenly my heart was open, maybe for the first time.

4. When I had my first operation and had to stop the sport I liked and couldn’t walk for months… Reality hit me quite hard at the age of 13. From there it just went downwards, with another operation following just 2 years later, realizing how abuse parents are and just a bunch of dreams crushed and left with pain

5. when I had a rough “friendship breakup”, I’ll never be able to trust the same I used to

6. When my now ex-husband told me he was cheating on me. It was the worst moment that led to me leading my best life.

7. When who i thought was my best friend, snatched my girlfriend

8. When I realised I was a lonely frightened unloved child and that I painted for myself a beautiful happy childhood.
   In that moment I got to be free

9. When I did shrooms.

   I had one eventual kind of turning point in my life when I was around 14-15 (it took around a year, and one day I realized I was a completely different person) then when I was 16, almost 17, I did shrooms for the first time and my life really did change.

   I woke up the next morning, cleaned my room and threw half my stuff away, got a job (my first job, I was 16), cut off a friend who wasn’t very friendly to me anymore, and decided to put myself first. I haven’t been the same since. 🙂

   Edit: added something

10. after being cheated on while in love, it’s fair to say i lost a lot of my innocence. i can’t seem to let my guard down anymore..it’s weird how severely one person can alter your entire brain chemistry

11. At the beginning of the year. A relationship ended for the better and my mindset changed with everything. I was better to myself and to others. I’m more optimistic than I was.

12. When I realised that I am so sick of myself repeating the same patterns over and over again and given all the shit I’ve been through I have not learned to become kind and loving to myself , but instead became insecure and validation seeking wuss.

13. Therapy!

14. the moment when he ignored me and when he treated me like i didn’t matter. being neglected will make my heart not love someone anymore or how i used to love them.

15. Went really cold when I worked hard all my life to get through pre-law only to be told it still wasn’t a big deal or anything “that great” that I did by my parents. This year it happened and I have changed soooo much for the better the last 6 months. I’m getting stronger every day and continue to, following therapy hw and success in literally everything that isn’t my family dynamic. I’m doing less people-pleasing and being more me. I’m not the same in the way that I don’t just let people shove me to the side and keep my mouth shut. I’m taking up space and living!

16. When I realized I kept putting others first and it started to take a toll on me physically and mentally.

17. When I finally realized how horrible my mother was

18. When I moved overseas

19. I changed for the better when I stopped hating myself under the religious cloud of “I’m born evil and have to like XYZ to repent”. I will never go back to that judgmental and depressing lifestyle.

20. I changed for the better when I started loving myself. I started not hating waking up

21. When my infant son died. He was 8 days old and born very premature (still had good prognosis though, his death was surprising). I feel so vulnerable that something terrible like that will happen again. Currently dealing with some major anxiety that I know stems from this event and I really miss the person I used to be.

22. Turning 17 and feeling very anxious and insecure, I started slowly making changes in my life

23. Right after I got married. I realised I was not different or untouched by societal pressures. I also realised that very few people actually care about me. Worse thing to come terms was that I’ll be more alone than ever moving forward.

24. Last year. I started taking anxiety medicine. Started putting my needs first and my whole life changed for the better.

25. Graduate school: met some of the greatest people and worst people during my time obtaining my PhD, amongst both my peers and the faculty. Unfortunately the worst people altered me and who I used to be when I entered my program.

26. When I gave birth to my son.

    It was like Dorothy walking into Munchkinland – dull old black and white compared to a whole new world with vibrant colors everywhere 😊

27. When my boyfriend of 2 years told me during our discussion of breaking up, told me that he was still in love with my best friend (they dated in the past).

28. The moment I saw the positive pregnancy test that ultimately led to my first child. Never felt the same since. I became a mom in that moment and was immediately responsible for someone other than myself for the first time in my 30 years of existence.

29. When my mom reached the middle stages of dementia and trauma dumped her childhood on me. All of a sudden, the issues I’d been struggling with crystalized. My mom was abused. Abuse is hereditary. While she managed to prevent most of the physical abuse she suffered from being passed on to me, she didn’t understand there was also a lot of emotional neglect and abuse, and that did get passed down to me. I went from “what is wrong with me? Why am I so unloveable?” to “holy shit, I was neglected and abused. There wasn’t anything wrong with me. *It’s not my fault.*”

    I can be alone now and enjoy my own company. I can set boundaries much more effectively than before. I like who I am, and I’m cringing from the future anymore. It’s so liberating I wish I could hand it out to all the other people who’ve suffered the way I did.

30. Hallucinogenics set me on a path to inner peace with a lot of things I was dealing with

31. When I read a book about vulnerability and its importance in everyday life. I was always pretty closed off due to a fear of being hurt, but when I read this book (coming up on a year ago) I really made it my mission to be more vulnerable to people who deserved it.

32. After my MIL died. I learned how truly unsafe the world is and how badly people can fuck up your life in an instant, and all because they were only thinking about themselves and their own lives.

33. It got broken so many times that I just stopped caring. I don’t know at what moment, but at 30 I have nothing left inside of me

34. When my anxiety and depression peaked at the same time as being dumped by the person I thought I was going to marry. Five years later, my heart is still guarded in some ways, but I’m living the best possible life I could have imagined for myself.

35. When I realized my people pleasing behaviors and codependency was toxic. That my childhood trauma was turning me into an emotional abuser. When I realized that there was nothing I could do to control how people felt about me.

    I abruptly stopped being “extra helpful” because I realized I never knew if I actually wanted to do those things or if I was using those actions as tools to gain favor of those around me. Shortly after all my relationships at that point crumbled away because they were so used to the overly kind and cheerful “me” and hated this new “selfish” version of me.

    I went NC with a whole friend circle, and decided that the only friends and partners I’d have in the future would be friends that knew and accepted the real me.

    It’s been over a year and I’m so much happier. I have genuine friendships now with people that understand me and how I operate. I’ve met so many people that display respect to me just being myself.

    And more so, I love myself so much more than before. I feel free.

36. Monday, February 9th 2009 @10.35pm – when I found CP on my ex-husbands laptop. A date/time forever ingrained in my memory. Life has never been the same since.

37. I would say my thirties, but definitely after having my second child.

    Children tend to do things like that tho, nd she’s a sag. I feel like she gives me her optimism daily, nd I’m not a pessimist, I jus have a hard time staying positive, she really helps tho, Even tho she’s hell fire! 🥴🤣

38. I am in a long term relationship but it was when I met another man a couple of months ago (said hi and a brief chat a few times before that when he was working next door and was so attracted to his gentle safe and kind energy and to his whole being and it opened up my heart chakra and I have been happy and smiling ever since and have had more energy and inspiration and motivation ever since our chat.