Mean drunk husband

13 comments

1. I don’t think his abusive behavior gets a free pass when he’s drunk. What does he do when you bring this up to him after he sobers up? Have you told him that it hurts your feelings?

   Honestly if I was like that I’d pick my wife over the bottle.

2. Get out before it escalates further. Which it will.

3. Please, for the love of everything, do not give this kind of aggressive, abusive behavior a pass. Alcohol lowers inhibitions – a drunk person is more likely to escalate into physical violence than a sober person. As for what you should do, first of all, make a plan for how you will get out and get to a safe place if he ever does get physical.

4. I can’t tell you what to do, but since I’m struggling with alcohol myself I can just say that alcohol makes it so you can’t regulate your emotions very well. Something that wouldn’t bother you much just makes you irrationally angry or sad. It isn’t really the “real self”. But I don’t want to excuse your husband, in my opinion he is already at a point where he is a danger to yourself.

5. Yes, this is really who he is.

6. If he’s genuinely sorry, he should stop drinking and get help.

7. abuse is abuse… he has a deeper issue and thats what he is drinking to cover up

   he needs to stop drinking and see a therapist

8. Just walk away. Seriously. He doesn’t get to be a big fucking bully and abuse you because he’s drunk. Every time he says sorry and you accept it, hoping and thinking he’ll change, the more likely this will continue to occur as he knows you’re willing to stick around and tolerate his bullshit.

   Trust me. You’ll be happier without.

9. You don’t have to live this way. He needs to get into AA or some sort of Sober treatment – otherwise you need to walk. It’s gotten to a point where he’s not safe to be around when he drinks, therefore you have every right to ask him to stop, permanently.

10. Set and communicate your boundaries very clearly. Explain what the consequences will be for that boundary being crossed. If/when that happens again, set the consequence in motion. Stand firm and don’t let them continue the behavior without consequences, because they will continue…over and over until you put a stop to it (if you can). In my case I (M) have been the receiver of abuse (drunken rage) from my wife, so the dynamic is a bit different, but strategy is still the same. If nothing changes, get out while you can.

11. You might look into Alanon. It’s a group for the families of alcoholics. Personally, I’d have very little tolerance for that behavior.

12. You should leave. Cuz yes that’s who is and what he feels deep down. Not okay to take his shit out on your no matter his reasons.

13. Divorce.