Context: Been together with boyfriend (34) for 3 months. Known him for 6 months. He is also best friends with his friend’s girlfriend.
Situation: Bf told me (30) the day prior that he would be busy today until the evening to spend time with me. I stayed the night and we ended up having breakfast together. His female friend (let’s call her Trish -25) was texting him on our way to breakfast. Trish’s bf calls my bf notifying the bf that Trish was calling her bf upset and crying. Trish was upset that bf was being disrespectful towards her.
Bf informed me that yesterday Trish and him were communicating their plans for today. They planned on going to a store at 7 am and later the mall at around 10 am to go birthday shopping for me. Trish notified bf later in the evening that she was going to order things online from store, but was still willing to join bf on his trip to the mall.
Come today, Trish messages bf upset. Trish, without communicating to bf prior, expected the two to go out for breakfast at 7 am. Trish has been ready and waiting for bf to reach out to her. Bf was annoyed by Trish for making plans without communicating them to him. Trish was putting blame on bf for miscommunication (this tends to happen between them two) and verbalized to bf that he does not communicate with Trish as before.
Bf explains situation to me as we wait to get seated inside restaurant for breakfast birthday. About 10 minutes after ordering bf excuses himself to go call Trish to resolve matters. Bf came back a little after 10 minutes and apologized for the situation.
I was sitting there with our food that arrived not too long after he left for the call . Waiting to eat once he arrived back.
I was upset throughout breakfast. Tried to not show it much. Bf explained to me that’s how Trish is and always blames bf for miscommunication.
I told bf I was annoyed by Trish’s behavior. I asked the bf if the discussion could have taken after breakfast once we were close to finished eating. Bf explained to me that Trish would have became angrier if he did not reach out to her sooner.
I feel like it’s reasonable to hold the call til after breakfast out of respect for someone’s birthday. I’m upset this wasn’t done. I’m annoyed by trish for going text crazy towards bf when he told her that he was taking me out for breakfast. I also felt like not as an important priority for my bf. Maybe I’m wrong for thinking like that since I saw him taking time out of our breakfast to calm down Trish.
I feel bad that her bf had to get involved, in the middle. Since trish was blowing up his phone upset with my bf. Girl was crying.
Bf feels like he’s in a lose lose situation. Which I get. Upset friend and gf.
I guess my question is aiitw? Was I reacting too strongly for being upset and not considerate of my bf? I apologized for my emotional reaction and being upset.
3 comments
I think that this situation needs more communication with the BF. Has this happened before and to this extent with him and Trish? You need to explain how this hurt you in a calm manner and ask him to set better boundaries and improve communication with her. My suggestion to him would be to send a short ” this wasn’t communicated well with me, I can t attend” text and leave it at that or don’t respond when she behaves badly. This is an issue you should communicate with your bf, I think your feelings are reasonable and valid.
Trish would be angry if he doesn’t respond? They aren’t dating. And why is he more attentive to her needs than yours? There needs to be boundaries and Trish doesn’t have it nor your bf. It makes me think Trish likes him more than a friend and will find an excuse to interrupt plans.
I’m sorry but Trish sounds like an entitled brat, who had to annoyed everyone else for a minor miscommunication issue. Your bf needs to set up boundaries or this situation won’t be the last.