Guy (40) I’m (22f) I’ve only gone out with twice texts me often, but I don’t see him as much as I’d like. He says he’d love to see me more but he’s busy with family/school and hasn’t had time. He said he wants me to know that he values me and our connection, appreciates that I’m mature/easy to be around, and has sent other messages to convey that I have surprised him/his expectations of me and that he likes spending time with me.
But we haven’t hung out in weeks, so I don’t know if I feel “valued”. No man has ever said that to me and I don’t know what it means. The caveats are that he is way busier/more successful than most men (he owns 100+ properties with tenants but formally retired in his 30s), and I do think it’s nice that a girl like me is on his radar at all, as the women who follow him are beautiful influencers with thousands of followers and fancy lifestyles. So if he wanted just sex and a trophy, I would be a poor candidate for that kind of dynamic relative to the options open to him.
should I give up hope of progress, or should I be patient with him because his head might be in a good place?
3 comments
He’s happy keeping you as someone he see casually and occasionally. He has no intention of having you be anything more. Hell are you 100% sure he’s not married and the family he’s spending time with is the one he made?
Would you tolerate this behavior from someone who is closer to your age? If not, then you have your answer as far as what you should do with this guy. Just because he apparently has loads of money and was able to retire before most people have a midlife crisis doesn’t mean he’s going to prioritize you or actually values you. (Actions speak louder than words.)
I also wouldn’t give much thought to the multiple female influencers who seem to be in his life. If they are looking for something serious, they wouldn’t tolerate his behavior either. Additionally, you still have the right to walk if you feel (1) you aren’t being treated as you’d like to be treated or (2) you’re not seeing him frequently enough.
If guys like Elon Musk have time to date, so does this guy.