I’ve been in a relationship with my (f19) boyfriend (m19) for three years now. Recently I went to college and now I’m an hour away. I’ve been really struggling with feelings of loneliness, the medium distance relationship, not getting to see him as much and as a result it’s made me very insecure. We recently had a serious conversation where he said he felt like he couldn’t come to me about things because of how I respond (like getting upset with him) obviously hearing that made me feel really bad and I’ve been trying to change my behavior because he told me this is something he needs in a relationship. Today, I think I proved him right again. He told me about a girl in his class who texted him asking him for his number and he asked me for advice what he should say but he also said that he felt bad because she was nice to him in class and didn’t want to be harsh. Because I’m insecure that was a red flag to me, my anxiety immediately was like, why would he feel bad when he has a gf. So I kinda responded perplexed and called him to get clarification. I was walking and texting him and he couldn’t call because his mom was in the room and he didn’t want her to hear but I was also deciding how I wanted to respond and act because I didn’t want to be irrational, so I was opening his messages and not responding quickly. He took that as me being upset, and was saying sorry to me because he didn’t mean anything by it. When I got back to my dorm I called him and we talked but I feel bad because now I feel like if a girl texts him again he won’t tell me. I want him to come to me, I’m tired of being insecure and irrational, it didn’t help that I called my mom for advice and she said “are you sure he doesn’t want to date other people?”. I’m just really struggling here with my own anxiety and the fear I’m ruining my relationship. I’ve gone to therapy, ROCD was mentioned in my sessions but she cut me off and told me I didn’t need therapy so now I’m just kind of stuck with the fact I know there’s something wrong with me, but a professional doesn’t seem to think so. I don’t want to lose a great guy because of my own shortcomings. What can I do to be better?
I also want to add I said sorry so many times and let him know I appreciated him telling me I just didn’t understand why he felt bad for rejecting her.