I (20F) have been dating my BF (28M) for 6+years but he’s making me question the nature of our relationship.

Hi, i 20F have been in a relationship with my boyfriend 28M for 6+ years, the only catch is that we’ve never met in person. How did we meet you might ask? well it was through social media and we started messaging and after 19days to be exact he told me he loved me and that he wants me to be his girlfriend. I of course said yes because you know young love. You may think this love is cute or sweet but the only thing is he was 23 at the time…

I was stupid and naïve and nobody has ever told me that before and since my parents are so strict on not having relationships till the age of 21 but i wanted to explore so i kept it a secret. Something you should know too is that I come from a very wealthy family worth millions upon millions. You wouldn’t know that unless you come to the family house(s), spoken to me, have me on socials or a friend/associate in person since my family like to keep our wealth very discreet. And since my boyfriend is from another country and we spoke on socials he had access to see into my life. Just a few weeks into the relationship he said he’s going to marry me, that he sees a life with me and having a bunch of kids. About 4 months in and he attempted to fly over but was stopped by customs and sent back home, only to later find out he had a ring to propose and marry me a few days later, which was a shock to me since i was only 14 and wasn’t thinking about marriage right there and then, more like in 10/15 years lol :/ . But i guess were in two different life stage he was 23.

(Point to note his family have been struggling financially and he didnt have a job for the past couple of years ive been talking to him.) For the past couple of years hes been pushing for me to fly over there and see him, his mom somewhat demanding it and asking where i am all the time. I some what feel pressured into flying across to see them, especially since theres so many red flags. 1. They only ask to see me when im going on holiday with my family, going to uni, getting a new house/property in my name. 2. It almost feels as if they try to guilt trip me every week, that i need to fly and see them and im being a bad gf by not doing so 3. As soon as i turnt 18 on my birthday they said i should be on a plane out there and that i don’t have to listen to my parents since im of age. 3. i say im too young all the time and he says no you’re good or it doesn’t matter now your 18/19/20 and so on. 4. tried to marry me at 14years old. 5. Constant jealousy

You have to note that its been going on since the age of 14, I am a child/was a child. I have no control over that sort of thing. its up to my parents and when they found out about our relationship, they immediately shut it down, refused the relationship and identified he’s a pedo. I feel as though its coincidental that they (my bf and his mom) ramped up asking me to fly to them on my 18th. I guess they felt inheritance/trust fund would reach me at 18 and needed to secure a foot in my life from the age of 14 so that he could be recognised as a part of the family or my life. i don’t know \*sigh\*.

Whenever, i made plans to go out there and see him, i asked if he would pick me up from the airport since ive never been there before and he blatantly told me no and that i have to make my own way and if anything, i can do a half hour walk to his house by myself (no uber wasnt an option, it doesnt exist there) after a 13hour flight :/ . after that i was put off from going to see him and yet im always checking for flights, i guess im a fool.

Another thing to note, when it was a year into the relationship he gave me access to his socials where i scrolled back to date that he loved me. i found out that he had messaged his ex-girl that he loves her, she told him she loves him too but reminded him that shes in a whole relationship/changed the coversation to her man and how hes so good. Not even 10mins later he messaged me that he loves me and see a life with me. (and yes i checked it wasnt even a full 10mins). i confronted him and he said that it didnt mean anything and that he tells his exes and everyone that he loves them.

A different time we were on call and i was asleep but woke up to the sound of moaning on the other end. Turns out he was watching anime porn and hes addicted to it and said that he doesn’t usually watch it but he does because it reminds him of his ex. his ex was asian and literally looked like an anime character… i told him i felt uncomfortable, he says he promises he wont watch it anymore and stated his ex was like an object and he just liked to testing ‘it’ out but his watch in anime shows sky rocketed.

When i told him i was dumping him at the age of 15 he told me hes going to kill himself i was devastated so i stayed with him but i had so much disgust for him which eventually passed over time but i feel uneasy talking with him. To make matter worse when i stopped talking to him (on a break) and was just speaking to a good friend of mine just as friends do, though turns out this friend mentioned that he liked me and wants to have a threesome which i declined and no longer spoke to him. When i told My bf about it he called me a wh\*r\*, a pr\*st\*t\*te and that is all that ill ever be, which hurt because im still a virgin till this day and i didnt do anything. When we got back together, he was just so obsessing over doing sexual activities phone wise. i told him no, so he just done it by himself and sent somethings to me.

TBH, i checked out of the relationship a bit ago, im just toes in not completely in. He wants to stay with me next year and keeps hinting that i should buy him a plane ticket for christmas so that hell be ready for when next year comes, his mom keeps harassing me, telling me that i should be there with them and he keeps smothering me with love and affection and saying that i can have all of it in person. he let me know in explicit detail of all the things he wants to do to me and i just dont know about that. at the end of the day im still finding myself and im not sure i want to lose my virginity to someone im not completely sure about.

Lat month, His mother told me that i need to go to my bed and why am i still up at 2am in the morning (since there a time difference). i said ‘why do i need to go to my bed i can stay up if i want’, which he echoed back to his mother which she responded with, ‘she’s a child, she needs to go to her bed, you’re not so i don’t need to tell you(bf) to go to bed’. i was 20 at the time and i was taken back. because she promoted her 23year old son to fly out to a 14year old but can tell him that im a child a 20, so what was i at the age of 14?… In addition to that when we are clearly talking on the phone she interrupt/inserts herself in the conversation and talks over me all the time, then when i ask a question to her, she goes ‘who is she talking to, sighs’ then walks out the room. giving me horrible glares and the like

My BF says and talks about having a beach house, winter lodge, a Grand mansion, a life of not working and simply relaxing but i haven’t heard any proper plans to get himself in that position, other than for me to buy a shop for him, send money to his family. Make me feel responsible for getting sent back to his country, lying to me to me on the agenda of his visits. He refused ot get a job because he believed that it will just come to him.

I love him, i really do, but i feel that he wants me to provide for him and his family for the rest of my life, which isnt what i want. I want a financially stable boyfriend/husband, that doesn’t get upset/jealous from me talking with him about my adventures, business plans, achievements but supports me and offer new ways to expand my/our businesses and continue to grow past a multimillion dollar company.

**TL;DR** I (20F) have been dating my BF (28M) for 6+years but he’s making me question the nature of our relationship. What do i do in this situation? What can i do? What do you think of this