So
So I went to a friend of mines, lest call him James, joint birthday party that he had with his friend Catty. I’m very close with James but we had a falling out and are trying to patch our friendship up. Catty was someone I met through him. She’s cool and we would have very short sporadic texts like hey how are you and we bonded a bit cause we had depression but we’ve never been close. Her and James are almost attached to the hip tho.
I was kinda nervous about going to this thing. I know it wouldn’t be anything crazy, no one in our group really drinks and stuff and it would be more like hanging with some games and food and I’m fine with that. I got there and the people that were there were mostly just people I had met one time and there was a friend I hadn’t spoken too in a while but it was nice catching up. I warmed up to the few people very quickly and we had fun and laughed a lot and had fun. We can have pretty immature humor and stuff, James particularly but we all bounced off each other.
Idk what was being said but at some point Catty says, “I love you all” and I joking and laughing said “I came cause I had nothing else to do” and she something along the lines of “yeah well it’s not like we text anymore. But you know what, I still think of you” in front of everyone. And my heart sinks and suddenly I’m glad I’m sitting in the corner of the couch so I can hide into it. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed after that I got much quiet afterwards. James was gonna take me home so I kinda had to wait but I wanted to disappear. I was never that close with this girl and she never really made the effort to text me.
After that, I had a talk with James and he did say he found the comment particularly to be kinda a yikes.
Idk…I feel like…I’ve been debating a lot on who I am as person. I feel like I’m this person that tries hard to make people feel good but does the opposite. I don’t have a big group of friends to begin with and trying to step out and put myself out there is hard. But in that moment I wanted to go home with my dogs and just never leave. I feel sad. I don’t know what’s wrong with me
3 comments
Okay, let’s go with what went wrong.
First, you’re fine. I’ve gone through enough social circle changes to see this: Someone popular in one circle would be offensive or boring in another. We all are just awkward sometimes. Over decades, we get better at reading the room. But it’s hard.
I wouldn’t see yourself as someone awkward. I would see your behavior as not working.
What you did wrong is that you didn’t reciprocate the warmth Catty was trying to give. What she did wrong is that she threw you under the bus.
So next time, when someone is trying to be warm, be warm and friendly back!
What exactly is the problem? You felt bad for saying “I came because I had nothing else to do?” A bit of an off note but really doesn’t seem like that big a deal. Sometimes when we’re socializing we try to joke and it isn’t perfect. It’s okay.
Not a big deal. Don’t let it bother you, people will forget.
Youre never as bad as you think and never as good as you think