Hello. I have been married (M33) for 6 years now. Together 11 years. We have 5 years son. I got my wife (F29) pregnant with our son accidently although we were planing for no kids for the first 5 years of marriage.
I’m not happy and it bugs me seeing single guys/guys with no kids going out and traveling while I can’t due to not having disposable income or parenting reasons. And I’m planing to leave my marriage and look for new life and start dating again.
Need some support and an advice.
29 comments
My advice is be man and take care of your family. The single life ship sailed for you and you can’t blame anyone but yourself
You aren’t going to have any disposable income following divorce either. If you just want to travel, it’s possible (and fun) to do with kids too.
I’m not happy either but my responsibility as a man is to take care of my kids and wife. I get that life is hard and not fun anymore. Trust me I sometimes want out but it’s not a option worth thinking about.
If you aren’t happy then see a therapist and not a lawyer… and do you think you will have more disposable income by paying child support… how about instead your wife works and you plan a family vacation and that way instead of a single man’s income minus child support you can have your wife’s and your income making more money to support family vacations.
My advice is to man up
It is a difficult time when the kids are young. It is a strain on your marriage, but is loosens up as they grow. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but stay for your son and your wife. It won’t be any easier if you leave. It will still cost you time, money and compromises.
And why run away just to start dating again? That’s what got you in trouble the first time.
You still won’t have time or money for travel unless you’re planning to go the deadbeat dad route. Far better to work on your marriage and build a budget that will allow you to have fun and travel with your wife and child.
Or you could work your ass off to increase your income and create the life you want WITH your family.
The grass is greener where you water it…
My ex husband left for extremely similar reasons. He now has no money because of child support, and ironically, he has traveled significantly less than I have since the divorce. He has not had much luck dating from what I have heard, but I am remarried.
There is no fresh start, and the grass is greener where you water it. Start dating your wife again, and budget so you can travel with the kid (or without, if you have family that can watch him).
Wow, basically you want to ditch wife and child and become single. That is selfish. You are living the result of the choices made, that is not to say you can’t change some things but you are needing to grow up and realise the single boat has sailed and that will never be docking again for you even if you do abandon your family.
Why did you marry her if you wanted to live the single life badly enough to leave? Your child and the consequences of having a child are the reason you leave?
If there is no abuse or cheating, then you are a selfish prick.
So thats a normal feeling but its not normal to bail to chase tail. Yes people do it but its not good long term for anyone. Find an outlet for these pent up feelings that you can blow off steam in a safe way with a supportive group. Dont go drinking and dancing without your wife because it will make things worse. Its not like you were 16 and pregnant. You are a grown ass man and have to do grown ass man things. Get a therapist before any rash choices
How easy do you think it’s going to be to find a quality partner when others find out that you’re the type of person to just walk out on your family for fun?
You need to see a therapist or couples therapist. You cannot have single life since you have a child. Unless you disappear and move to another country. You also can go to jail for not paying child support. So you cannot just be 20 and single again. If you don’t love each other with your wife, you need to work on that first.
Unless you are super rich, no many ladies will want a divorced guy with a child who hates his family and has to give 35% of his income away.
You might get another lady pregnant and pay more money to child support.
You should fix your current relationship
You want ppl to support you and tell you to abandon your child?? Yikes
Good luck. Child support is not an option.
You are no man
That ship has sailed buddy, the moment you got her pregnant you should’ve said goodbye to this fantasy you have of disposable income and traveling lol.
But please do leave your wife. She deserves so much better than you. You’re still gonna have the parental responsibilities and financial obligations, albeit solo 😉
You’re a troll.
And a bad one lol
This has to be a troll post
Time for therapy regardless of what you decide to do in regards to your marriage. Your kid is here. If you get divorced your kid will still be here and you’ll still be connected to your wife. Divorce can be expensive. Child support doesn’t go away if a marriage is dissolved.
Time to explore what you feel you are missing in life and how to experience that even though you started a family earlier than you had planned. Having a family doesn’t mean your life stops, fun doesn’t happen, and travel isn’t possible. You’re in a position to reframe how to do those things with a family. Again, regardless if you decide to stay with your wife or not.
Please put this on your Tinder profile and you will attract the quality women you deserve.
How about some support for your wife and son? Guys who do shit like you’re talking about make us all look bad, even the ones who would never consider running away like a coward. I used to get antsy and want to explore the world or live in a different place but never once did I consider any of that as something I would do without my wife and 4 kids. I was married at 17. I’ve had to bust my ass to take care of my family. Never lived a “single” life, never had disposable income until recently. Man up and stop whining.
Do you know what dating is like now???
Are your friends genuinely happy and mentally/emotionally happy?
My advice is leave her. You’ll be doing her a favour.
Many guys want a wife and kid who loves them, the fun of being single you’re chasing is also lonely and quite superficial.
I’m not being impolite but what makes you think women would want you? That you’d be able to date around like you describe? There are plenty of deadbeat, trashy men, the single women of the world don’t want another one.
I hope you leave tbh, at least she might have a chance at finding a proper, respectable man that deserves her and your child finding a man they can really refer to as a father who loved and cared for them and was never going to abandon them.
I’m not even joking. You should leave so they both get the life they truly deserve.
The grass is greener where you water it. You nave an obligation and responsibility. Whether you wanted a child or not is not the point. You drilled, you hit oil. Be a man, grow up and take care of your responsibilities.
You sound incredibly selfish tbh… what about your son? Being “happy” is a temporary feeling anyway
The problems you have will not be solved by leaving your family. You have a son, and with him obligations that continue past a divorce. You’ll probably spend a lot more money being single than married, considering you’re still responsible for your son’s upkeep as well as now paying your own rent/etc.
Lol did you really expect support on this? Grow the eff up, be a man and take care of your responsibilities.