I feel like I’m crazy and just want some input. This morning my (34f) BF (42m) and I were trying to have a “quickie” and he kept going soft, and when he was able to keep an erection it took forever for him to cum. Usually he’s a 2-3 min guy, sex is always technically a quickie. I was kind of off put by it as I was thinking there is something wrong with me and I’m just not turning him on. So after we finished and were cleaning up he tells me he is just so super horny all the time lately and he thinks it’s his medicine and he had to randomly jerk off in the middle of the day yesterday to try to calm down the horniness. Now, typically porn doesn’t bother me too much, I guess it depends on my mood it will, or will not bother me. It will bother me if it affects my sex life though. A lot of times I notice after he watches it, it’s like he goes soft a lot or lasts a very long time and he’s not into it. Is this a thing? Is it possible it’s because I don’t look like the girls in porn? Does porn affect your view of sex or women? I just hate feeling less than and that it’s because of me he couldn’t keep it up or into it especially when he said he was super horny.
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I’m 44M. Just speaking from my own experience – the strength of my erection and the time it takes me to finish has almost nothing to do with how hot my partner is.
It’s almost *all* down to factors like: what meds am I on, how much did I sleep, how recently did I jerk off, am I stressed out, how am I feeling about my own body.
I can also have problems with sex if there’s problems with my relationship. Like if I feel like my partner is sorta bullying me into sex or like she’s harshly judging my performance.
Yeah, I watch porn, and the girls in porn look like… everything. I mean, it’s 2022. There are about five million women doing porn. Sometimes I’ll jerk off to a 19 year old, sometimes to a 55 year old. Sometimes to a waif and sometimes to a bodybuilder and sometimes to an obese woman and sometimes to an enby. And I’m definitely far from alone in this. Lots of guys love variety more than they love any specific “type.”
It’s never affected the way I look at my partners. Only *they* really affect that.
> I was kind of off put by it as I was thinking there is something wrong with me and I’m just not turning him on.
Don’t attach meanings to the lack of erections unless you have confirmed this is the case by the owner of the penis. Erections are fickle as fuck and often have nothing to do with you, how you look, how attracted your partner is to you, or how much they want to fuck you.
Plus, there are SO MANY other ways to have sex – why always default to penis in vagina? Why insist your partner always be hard? That’s a fuck ton of pressure to put on the penis owner in your life.
It is possible that your boyfriend’s medication is causing him to have difficulty maintaining an erection. It is also possible that his frequent use of pornography is affecting his ability to perform during sex with you. However, it is important to remember that everyone is different and it is impossible to say for sure what the cause is without talking to a healthcare professional. It is also important to remember that a person’s ability to perform during sex can be affected by many different factors, including stress, anxiety, and overall health. If you are concerned about your boyfriend’s performance, it may be helpful for you both to talk to a healthcare professional to determine the cause and find a solution. In the meantime, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with each other about your concerns and to continue to support each other.
I’ve had this conversation with my boyfriend. I told him that I’m fine with porn and masturbation but when it affects our sex life, that’s not okay. There’s just a physical limit to this stuff and if you eat before dinner, you’re not going to be as hungry (metaphorically speaking). It’s his responsibility to figure out where the line is and not cross it.
He’s an older man, and unfortunately with age, it becomes harder to maintain those high school diamond erections. I use Cialis and/or Viagra to help.
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