I stuck my tongue out. Help!

28 comments

1. My recommended solution: Find a more reasonable, less easily triggered SO.

2. Don’t date crazy people?

   I doubt it could have been avoided. And you can’t resolve something when someone has gone off the deep end and lost it. All you can do is talk to them about it and clarify what triggered them and avoid doing it. If what you did would be considered harmless by the majority of people then you have to ask why does this thing trigger this person? Is it something that CAN be resolved?

3. That is not a proportional or appropriate response from your SO to you sticking your tongue out or asking what’s wrong.

   This can be avoided and resolved by finding a new partner who doesn’t angrily explode over seemingly nothing.

4. kinda scary he’s that volatile to a childish sticking out tongue…

5. Look up the boru lotion man

6. Yeah I need more details? How long have y’all been together? I would never stay with what sounds like a nut job. That’s very scary that he just blew up over something so silly.

   I’m 31 and still stick my tongue out at my bf and my 8year old daughter

7. Uh how the f is your SO saying this triggered them? In what way did you sticking your tongue out relate to a trauma response? Edit: Also, look up “Lotion Man” because I’m getting Lotion Man vibes.

8. Ewww… are you dating a CHILD? only children gets triggered with that kind of rubbish.

9. I’m like whose them? Then I’m like oh it’s 2022 lol

10. Your action and their response is not proportionate. There has to be something else going on with your SO that they aren’t telling you about.

    I think you need to have a discussion with them about what is really going on, because yelling at your for a playful act is not okay.

11. That far exceeds any normal, rational reaction to that.

    Unless you’re married you may wish to consider a relationship with a far more stable person than the one you currently have.

    That degree of over the top response is a serious red flag, or should be, for you.

12. Is this a common issue from your partner? If not, give it some time to cool down. Could be stress or other bottled up emotions and you sticking out your tongue may just happen to be the trigger for them that day. To get angry that easily and spend a few minutes yelling, there most likely is something else that has been bothering them for a while.

    But if this is a frequent reaction to small things, your partners got issues that you can’t fix.

13. This wasn’t about the tongue

14. Your partner sounds fun to be around. You should walk away.

15. You’re a bit vague.

    – Were you holding the door for them? Or this is you getting in the car?
    – Is there a history with tongues, because some people find them gross so if this was a tipping point it might have been a final straw? This would go along with the request of not doing it and being upset at being told “what’s wrong with you”
    – What else has been going on? Possible that they’re having other issues, grief, loss, medical concerns? If someone’s dad died that day they wouldn’t have a great response to pranks or playfulness.
    – Do you often respond to requests with “geez what’s wrong with you”? If that’s your reply a lot to someone’s request about something then yeah that can drive someone insane. See again – breaking point.

    Breaking points don’t often come with good behavior. Not defending them screaming. But say someone is pestered over and over and over. They can snap.

    So getting the ***FULL*** story is needed before any real advice can be given.

16. He has weird hang-ups, anger issues and absolutely no sense of scale when it comes to mild annoyance vs. major issues. Someone needs to go back to mommy’s house and mature a few more years before he can be allowed out with the grown ups. Time for an upgrade.

17. Okay… First, your SOs reaction to the tongue was harsh. Second, the defensiveness in “geez, what’s wrong with you today” fed into the harsh attitude brought on by the tongue.
    The screaming? Next level overreaction. Loving partners do not communicate this way.
    You can start the next conversation with something like this:
    Hey, I wanted to talk about what happened in the car. I wasn’t meaning to be disrespectful, only playful, so I’m sorry if it came off as the former. Second, we do not talk to each other like this. I shouldn’t have gotten snide and defensive, nor should you have screamed. We both need to work on healthier communication. Why don’t we look up some articles together to build these skills?

18. Based on the comments and post, you’re in a relationship with someone who regularly does this and can’t regulate their emotions.
    This sounds very emotionally abusive, you should calmly and quickly find the exit on this relationship. I generally suggest people work out their differences, and if this was a one time thing, maybe you could do therapy over it, but that’s not the case, and you don’t deserve this to be your life.
    It won’t get better, and even if you’re ‘strong enough’ to bear with it, you shouldn’t have to be.

19. This could be avoided by dating someone who isn’t an emotionally stunted jerk that resorts to freaking out over something so minor. If they really don’t like you sticking out your tongue at them…fine, but have a normal and rational conversation about it.

20. They could learn adult communication skills. You can choose to not accept their bad behavior.

21. Get rid of them. They’ll nitpick everything you do til you’re walking on eggshells and not comfortable or familiar with yourself.

22. Did you scare her(?) when you jumped in the car and stuck out your tongue? Do you often tease her out of the blue, even though she doesn’t like it? Are you a bit annoying over all, and she finally snapped?

    I don’t trust the narrator here. There are pieces of info missing. I sense that OP is trying to manipulate us.

23. Nothing could have been better because this man is abusive and you should be analysing how best to leave the relationship safely

24. find a mentally stable person to date, man. your s/o sounds stupid and abusive.

25. Sounds like you’re stuck walking on egg shells

26. you didn’t cause this. **you didn’t cause this**. Your partner sucks. To avoid this in the future, avoid this person.

27. Could’ve been avoided by you leaving this relationship sooner. Wow.

28. I have this issue. Sometimes my significant other has done things that have “triggered” me with a negative response while he is just acting silly. I remember a specific time when he said something about me and I exploded on him and he was so shocked and he said “You could have made this joke funnier but somehow you made this turn negative”. I watched a video recently that gave me some advice on this: either I can continue reacting negatively towards innocent people or I can face my trauma and have an honest conversation. My boyfriend is my best friend but at some point I turned him into a punching bag who is just supposed to “get me” instead of realizing that I have a lot of unresolved trauma that I need to be honest about. For me, rejection is a huge source of my overreactions. Where someone could be making a simple joke, I take it personal and make it about how they don’t like me because if they did they wouldn’t have made that joke. A huge issue is that most people want you to tiptoe around their problems versus them actually taking proactive steps to healing the underlying issue. My advice: have an honest conversation. Let them know you don’t like to be spoken that way and ask them why they felt they needed to lash out. If it is a trauma of theirs or if this is an actual personality trait. If it’s s personality trait-leave now. If they are willing to actually resolve the issue- it’s worth continuing the effort to help them heal(as long as they are proactively working on healing). Also, it’s not your job to heal them so walk away at any point when your self worth is taking a hit!