When complaining about her abusive mother, she would often say that she “needs someone better in her life” or “someone with whom she can talk about anything and feel comfortable with”. I know she is talking about her mom but it really makes me feel as if she doesn’t feel happy with me.
In her defense she had a pretty rough childhood and is quite traumatized about it. However, I feel absolutely horrible when she says such things. If I point out that I feel uncomfortable with such words, she gets offended and stops trusting me with her feelings for a few days.
We have a beautiful relationship and we love each other very much. We’ve been together for almost 5 years and will get married this summer. How can I be a better person for her? How can I be more patient when she says such things?
Edit: I should point out that we are a long-distance couple. We’ve been apart for almost a year now and will meet again in the summer.
3 comments
Kinda sounds like you need to chill. You can’t be everything for her all the time. Help her make some new friends, or use the meetup app to go find cool shit to do to get more social so she makes friends organically.
Eh. My childhood was VERY traumatic. I’ve been with my husband 23 years…he isn’t enough when it comes to that…and he doesn’t try to pretend he is. Most of the time he listens to me vent and that’s all I need.
No one person can be ENOUGH for another no matter how much love, acceptance, and good will is there.
It is never too late to benefit from therapy.