I grew up in a asian catholic household with a really religious mother. Although I grew up catholic, I am personally not religious but still attend mass with my parents out of respect as I am still living with them.
Today, we got into a fight as she insisted my girlfriend of 1 year converts to catholicism. I told her that I believed that it is her own choice whether she wants to convert but my mother said that if she does not convert she would not give her blessings should my girlfriend and I ever get married. The argument got to the point that my mother threatened to disown me and not attend my wedding if I marry a non-catholic. She said I was being disrespectful and spoilt.
I feel really trapped and I need some advice how to handle this as I am unsure how to do so.
TLDR: my catholic mother insists that my girlfriend and I follow her religious beliefs and threatened to disown me if I marry a non-carholic.
6 comments
You are being threatened by someone who wants to control you. What you do is you decide whether or not your life can be bought. If not, you stand your ground. You can tell her you have no interest in discussing a future marriage, and you’ll see how things go when you are ready to marry someone. And then you just live your life as you choose. If you get disowned, it is the price you pay for not letting someone mistreat you or your future partner. If you can be bought, then you need to tell your girlfriend that the relationship does not have long-term potential, because you intend to let your mother choose what kind of partner you marry and what you need to do to keep from being disowned.
The only life you have to live is your own. One day your mom will be gone and will you be glad you bent to her will or will you be glad you lived your own life, finding your own happiness.
F*ck your mom. For me it is break up reason if my bf is controlled by his mom and doesn’t have a mind of his own. I don’t want to be in a relationship with a 40+ woman but my bf. If you are weak, cannot protect your gf from your mom, then it is better for her with someone else who can actually stand up for her and is as a person of their own, not an extension of their mother.
Tell your mom to stay out of this! No one should dictate to another to switch religions like you change your pants . your GF religion is her own business.
Tell her that you are the one who will eventually decide into which nursing home she will move. Explain to her that there are plenty of really shitty ones if she keeps this bs up.
Ah yes, the old “I’ll disown you if your gf isn’t the same version of my religion”. Classic! I’m always amazed at how often people use relationship as a justification for being shitty humans.
You’re 22 and she’s your gf of only 1 year. You aren’t planning on getting married any time soon are you? You shouldn’t be. Just understand that if you do marry a non-Catholic, she may actually try to keep this promise, so be prepared for it. It’s not YOU pushing her out of your lie either (like she’ll try to portray it), it’s her deciding to not be part of it.