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Just don’t. Period.
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Don’t send nudes
If you decide to meet up, Do let someone know who you will be with, where you will be & what time you’ll be back. And do call that someone when you return home.
Do meet in a public place (preferably during the day)
Don’t have the date pick you up at your house.
If the dude sends dik pics right away…instant red flag…
Of course I am sure you already knew that…
Don’t feel like you owe anyone your time. You don’t.
Do ghost them if they make you feel unsafe. Fuck their feelings, your safety is #1.
Don’t give them your full name, don’t tell them where you work, don’t put pictures of your kids (if you have them), and don’t use your real phone number. Do download a text app if they want to talk off the dating app. It’s amazing the information someone can get from your phone number if they know where to look!
I have a specific restaurant that I go to for every first meeting. The hostesses and waiters know me and watch out for me.
Make sure you have a way to leave right away if you need to. I have left a date twice within minutes of meeting the person.
After having several crazies use burn phones after being blocked, I refuse to give my number until the first meeting. It’s easier to block and disappear from an app, than your phone number.
If you’re using Bumble, there’s calling and messaging within the app, so there’s no need to take things “off the app” until you’re ready. I also never shared other social media with men on there. If someone makes you uncomfortable, then feel free to unmatch and block. If a man incessantly bugs to reply and chides you for not replying quickly enough, feel free to do the same (I had one fellow upset that I didn’t message him back during school hours, which was absurd and rude).
When meeting up with someone, I generally prefer brunch, lunch, or coffee. I always let someone (my mom in my case) know where exactly I was going and when I intended to be home.
Relax, Don’t overthink it,
have fun,
be yourself.
Probably overbearing advice but I’ve met some real concerning guys –
Do not let them pick you up until you’ve established trust. Letting someone you just met see where you live could be dangerous.
Let someone know where you’re going.
Meet them for your first date, don’t let them pick you up or they’ll know where you live. Go somewhere public and let a friend know where you are and when. Be honest and upfront about what you’re looking for so you don’t waste your time. I find first dates can be awkward so I prefer grabbing ice cream or coffee and going on a walk or to a museum or somewhere where you are interacting with something so you can talk about it.
Don’t let them persuade you to switch to WhatsApp or another messaging platform until you’ve met them. They’re only doing it to get pics. The excuses are usually “I don’t use this app very often” or “it’s easier”. No it isn’t.
When you go to meet them, make sure 2 people know where you’re going and screenshot his profile and send it to them. I tend to set a time frame for sending them a text and letting them know I don’t feel unsafe. Stay in your neighborhood (don’t need to tell him that though) or another area that you’re really familiar with. I like having an exit strategy and that’s not as easy if it’s part of the city I’m completely unfamiliar with. Use your spidey sense. If something feels off, it probably is.
Do not invite anyone over your house.
Do not go to their house. Unless you just trying to smash.
Do have fun &Do not worry about their perception if you.
Do ask yourself if you REALLY like them or just want a man.
Do make it sweet and short.
Don’t plan a long date for the first date – make sure it’s something you can easily get out of after an hour or so if you’re not liking it.
I made the mistake of doing a first date at an event that ended up being like five hours total, I thought it would be fun since I was really liking the person over chat, but alas there was no chemistry in person and we actually clashed quite a bit and I was definitely wishing it would be over sooner!
Only agree to meet up the first time in a public place. Gotta make sure there’s other people around you so you can get help or make a safe escape if it’s needed.
I love all the advices already given. Another one: if you go to a café or a restaurant, don’t let them pay or you.
Do set boundaries. Don’t give your attention to people who don’t respect those boundaries
Don’t spend forever chatting before meeting up. Text chemistry is not in person chemistry. Meet quickly, 20 minute coffee, and see if there’s anything there.
Meet them at a public place like crowded cafes, malls etc. Do background research first like scrolling his Instagram/linkedin/Facebook.
DO have only one sentence as your bio
DON’T have pictures with anyone else in them
Something I haven’t seen mentioned yet.. I know some girls don’t like to give their insta beforehand but I prefer it. If he follows a million girls then I know it’s not worth my time
If the conversation is sexual straight away even if you’re just looking for that. These guys have way too much confidence and will immediately act like you owe them nudes, their time, etc and don’t take rejection well
My ex took a picture of my tag and sent it to her mother on our first date. I thought that was quite prudent. The only reason we broke up was because I didn’t tell her I loved her soon enough and she went to teach in China.
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I don’t match with men whose only pictures are of them with other people. I’m not psychic, if I don’t know which one is you, I’m not interested.
I also never go for a meal on the first date, because it’s easy for me to leave if there are any red flags.
Don`t have a dating app.
My honest opinion? Don’t use the apps. It’s scary what dangerous people are put there.