I am not someone who wants to have kids and I am 26. I wonder if this will ever change. My friends talk about the biological clock and they are 2+ years older than me. However, i keep having dreams about having kids and it feels more like a nightmare. Does this ever change? I’d like to hear people’s experiences
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It might but I wouldn’t make any plans around things changing. If you’re sure you don’t want kids, that’s fine. Don’t worry about what other people are doing.
I’m 42m- it took a lot of therapy between the ages of 33-35 to come to terms with the fact that i don’t want kids. And It was a lot of work finding a partner that felt the same way. It’s not a decision that one can come to lightly amidst all the family and societal pressure. Once I realized and accepted it, I made sure to be clear about it with my online dating exploits so as to not waste anyone’s time. It adds a level of difficulty for sure, but worth it to no longer feel that pressure and to know that no one is expecting it or trying to change me.
I suppose I had my mind changed for me, didn’t want any, unexpectedly had one, no regrets. I have friends who have never wanted kids and haven’t changed their minds and friends who have. All of it is fine.
If you have the means to freeze your eggs maybe do that so that if you do change your mind there are options.
I 100% never ever want to be married or have children. Ever. Then I met THE guy. Within three months I was married and pregnant. I was 27.
It didn’t change for me, I didn’t want kids at your age and I still don’t want them now, more than 20 years later.
When I (44F) was your age, I didn’t really feel any pull to have kids but I assumed I would at some point given how we are so brainwashed in our kid centric society that if we have a uterus, we should be using it.
When I got into my 30’s where the clock was actually ticking, I had to sit down and give it a hard think. And at that point, I decided that I just really didn’t want to have kids.
I like kids just fine. But after raising my own brothers, I knew how much time, effort, money, and energy it takes to be the kind of good parent I’d want to be. And that wasn’t aligned with my other professional and personal goals. There’s no way I could have the career I have now if I had kids AND be a good parent.
Might you change your mind? Sure. Maybe. People change their minds about all sorts of things. But I wouldn’t count on magically having a sense of urgency to have kids if you’ve given it a lot of thought already.
Between 18 and 27 I wasn’t really sure I wanted kids. I was more on the not wanting them side than actually wanting them. I’m 28 now and I got pregnant and had the baby. I’m not sure if it’s just the shitty newborn phase, ppd, or regret, but I’m struggling something fierce. Part of me wants my old life back, but part of me is happy I get to experience the unconditional love that comes with a child. Think carefully before you make any decisions. Your life will change a lot with a child and it’s extremely difficult.
Your clock ain’t ticking until at least 3 years then you got a good 5 years to make a start. It dont sound like much but you’re mature enough to find the right someone and start a family within 3 years.