So we often hear about friendzoning and it’s usually women doing it to male friends

However I want to know, do men friendzone women? And do they do it for the same reasons as women?

49 comments

  1. If by friend zone you mean inform someone that we will not have a romantic relationship, then yes.

    I do it because I don’t want to have a romantic relationship with them.

    It’s probably the same reason women do.

    I don’t mind being friends with most people though.

  6. Yes, I did more than once. It’s different in the way that women expect their feelings to be reciprocated most of the time and they handle rejection very badly (at least in my experience). I kind of like those girls, not in a romantic way obviously; but when I made it clear nothing would happen they became very toxic and soon tried to get me out of their lives (and our common friend circles).

    I don’t think I’ve seen any man behave in such a way (feel free to correct me though, it’s only personal experience!); that lead me to believe women feel entitled to peer recognition and their feelings being mutual.

    As for the reasons why I friend zoned them, they’re quite simple: I have high standards, because I have high standards for myself too, and they weren’t quite up to par.

  9. Yes. mostly if we are already in a relationship or Don’t find them attractive (very low bar).

    Some of the reasons are the same its just that women do it far more often and take it to such toxic lvs.

  11. Yes but its not for the same reason. A woman typically friendzones a guy cause he feels like her brother or a good friend. A guy usually friendzones a girl just cause she’s not physically attractive to him.

    At least thats why I friendzone girls, just not attracted to them physically.

  13. Absolutely, used to do it all the time in my single yrs. Once i started feeling that “sisterly vibe “ it was automatic friend zone.

  14. It can happen, but it’s rare. Mostly because men don’t have much of an opportunity for that in the first place.

  15. Tons of situations where a girl would love to bang her guy friend but he’s not interested…what else would you call this?

  16. Sorta yeah. Awareness they like you romantically but you don’t like them that way, but remain friends with them.

    I think a big difference that may exist is that men will typically allow for more flirty/touchy behavior than a woman would in the opposite direction.

    Feminine affection is very nice and if you do genuinely like them it’s hard to turn down. As long as they control themselves and don’t start literally falling all over you. Then it’s too much and the friendship has to end for me. A lady’s gotta keep it locked down.

  17. One reason was we see a girl like a Sister so she is unfuckeable unless you are from Santiago del Este to.

  18. I once had a friend who was female who I friend zoned. She asked me out. I told her I didnt want a relationship with her.

  19. Good question, tbh the only non-family friend that’s a girl that I have is an ex-girlfriend haha. I don’t really have many friendships with girls, it’s maybe something I should work on – but yeah I guess that means I wouldn’t put a girl in the friend zone, if a girl is clearly interested in me I wouldn’t lead her on by replying really quickly to messages etc. I’ve been in the friend zone before and it sucks, so I wouldn’t do that to a girl.

  21. Yes. Only difference is women tend to never directly ask a man out, so they just eventually have to pick up on the cues and are frequently awkward about it realizing.

  22. The reasons are generally the same. The after effect is different. Guys may take a bit of time to adjust and maybe tell their closest mate that it didn’t work out. Girls from what I have seen will call up friends for support and will fix up as best as they can for the next day. The male strategy is enduring less hurt over a longer period, while the female counterpart seems to be get it all out and recover. Idk and doubt this is true for everyone. Purely saying this from personal experience and observation.

  26. I had three male best friends through college. I think the one that I am still best friends with put me in the friendzone right away, and I think that’s part of why our friendship has lasted 20 years, we never had feelings for the other. It is real and true *friendship* with the other.

  28. I wasn’t into sulky emo chicks in high school but they were in to me so yeah.

    Confident goth chicks though, married one

  30. I guess I was “friend zoned”, I told a friend of mine I was becoming attracted to him and he said he was flattered but didn’t wanna ruin the friendship we had. I was like alright cool, it is a pretty good friendship, and we continued to be the best of friends because I was able to let go of those emotions knowing he did not reciprocate

  31. Absolutely, when I’m taken, every woman gets friend zoned. Many different reasons to friend zone someone. Too much history, friendship is deep not worth the risk, incompatibility for anything sexual, unattractive but still a nice person. Typically it’s better to friend zone right off the bat unless there’s potential for something else or a spark of some kind is felt.

    Wouldn’t know how it differs from the way women do it. I would assume the same way, of course everyone is different.

  33. Kinda. However women friendzone men by doing all the things couples do without the sex. Men friendzone women by not doing all the things couples do but with sex.

    Guys are like wtf we hang out and watch movies and I know her family and friends why won’t we bang?

    And women are like we fuck why won’t they tell their friends and family about me or hang out in public?

  35. Does happen. Either because I’m seeing someone, or just not attracted to the person. Women are a lot more sensitive and have a bigger ego to getting rejected so you have to be more soft with it.

  36. Men friend zone women all the time. However, the women will try to convince everyone she friend zoned him because women can’t handle rejection.

  37. Nobody is going to want to hear this but the majority of a time when a guy would do this is because he doesn’t find the girl attractive.

  38. I friend zoned a chick in college at a party she came to at my place. To get revenge she had sex with a friend in from Canada on my washer and broke it. She never called him after and never paid to fix the washer. 0/10 experience. 10/10 bar story.

  39. Yes, there’s one from my work who’s trying to get in a relationship with me but I am not interested. “You don’t shit where you eat”. I know way too much of how word travels at work, and your company career is pretty much done if you get in a relationship.

    As much as I would like to have a partner, I prefer being able to provide for my family.

  41. Reasons I’d do it is because I’d expect us not to work out.

    There are traits I’m willing to tolerate in friends that I’m not willing to tolerate in a life partner. This generally comes down to the fact I’d have to deal with said trait much more often than I would for a friend.

    I’ve only got one female friend that I’d date in earnest if it was presented as an option and we compliment each other in a lot of ways and I’m pretty sure I come family approved – her mother likes me at least. As an easy example, she likes cleaning and has zero problems with the jobs I hate, but doesn’t cook. I cook very well, but dislike most cleaning tasks (though I like to keep things clean). There are more, but about half the time I see her, she’s eating at mine and won’t let me stop her from washing the dishes.

  42. Due to the fact that men typically make advances, women do the majority of the “friendzoning” since they are doing the rejection. But every man is friendzoning any female he does not make an advance on almost by default unless she makes it either very apparent she likes him or makes the first move. In those cases men friendzone plenty of women.

    The whole concept of a the “friendzone” comes from the fact that women typically reject men by saying let’s be friends. This is typically the nicest way of saying no possible. And then some men never even take a shot either because they know or think they know what the answer will be. Which is stupid. For all the men out there worrying if you’ll f up a friendship. Remember that she’s going to find another man eventually and she’ll start a life with him and you’ll be less of apart of each other’s lives with each passing year. So take your shot. You either end up with a Girlfriend or you’ll end up with a friend, which is where you started.

  43. The difference is that men have a middle zone, women tend to not learn about this until a bit later in life.
    The dating zone – dating compatibility (matching ‘out of tens’ this is equal or above)
    The fuck zone – this is tricky because you sometimes flirt, sometimes cba (1-2 below)
    The friend zone – has personality/character but (2-3 below)

    I think some women friend zone 1-3 below, some 2-3 below.

    TBF the friend zone is a good place to work on yourself from as you have a gauge of your improvement if you did get serious about working on yourself.

  44. Logically there are more than one case, but what I can say is that from the private moment of rejection, to social networks, this moment is much more dramatic when a man does it to a woman. “the villain”

  45. I have female friends. I feel like “friendzone” sounds like something was lost. Your goal was to be intimate and they didn’t want that from you so you lost and got put in a prison. I think that attitude is lame. Also, having at least one female friend is your gateway to figuring out how to be the best version of yourself for a different female. Hopefully, your friendzone girl knows other girls. Or she says stuff like “I don’t know. I just feel more comfortable with the boys. Girls are always bitchy.”

  46. As a woman I’ve certainly been friendzoned. The most painful one was where I developed feelings for my friend with benefits (we had an understanding bc we both got out of long relationships that we didn’t start a relationship). When I realised my feelings and shared them he didn’t feel the same. So the fwb ended..
    There was a lot of other times too, but those were more subtle. Cried my eyes out many times. That’s life

  48. Yes we do but we’ll not make them stick around us for a long period and keep hurting their constant feelings.
    Just reverse the whole reference above and that’s how women friendzone men.

  49. The Ancient Wisdom must live on: I’m going to recap for the young ones that don’t have access to the Sacred Texts:

    >*Thou shalt befriend the nice lady who friendzoneth you, for friends they may have aplenty. Befriend not the psycho, for that way is pain.*

    Before anything, If a woman friendzones you, **DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY.** There are a billion reasons why they do this. Sometimes it is you. Sometimes its her. I’ve been friendzoned by women who later admitted to being in love with me.** This is typically a time to “move on” and “get some distance.”

    But on occasion, be-friending said woman might actually work out in your favor. For the cheap seats in the back, this is literally a checklist.

    **Do a realistic assessment of the woman:**

    1. Is she generally emotionally/mentally stable?
    2. Does she have lots of (particularly female) friends?
    3. Does she avoid playing with your emotions?***

    If you answered **yes** to all of this:

    1. If you can, **absolutely** be-friend her. And by this I mean you treat her like you would a dude you are buddies with ASAP.
    2. DRILL IT INTO YOUR BRAIN THAT THIS WOMAN IS FOREVER OFF LIMITS. (I liked to pretend she’s related to me in order to slowly train my brain not to think of her in a romantic/sexual manner)
    3. Take care of yourself: Exercise, groom, dress well, follow your passions, watch your mental health, and work on your career/studies. **This is key!**

    **There’s a better than good chance at some point she will introduce you to her friends. You keep this cycle going and some of these friends will introduce you to their friends and so on and so forth.** As long as you are not an asshole, you will find someone in that crowd.

    ****Caveat**: On occasion a woman who actually likes you will still friendzone you. For your own mental health, you must pretend this is never the case until they literally tell you they have feelings for you. If you two can never seal the deal, and you find yourself spinning out: Break Contact. Your mental health comes first.

    *****Caution:** If she flirts with you one minute then leaves you cold the next, break contact. If she suddenly turns on the charm when you decide to get distance, break contact. These are bad signs of someone who is using you for emotional validation. There is NO HOPE here. RUN!

    Edit: I guess some people might wonder why I wouldn’t suggest befriending someone who A) doesn’t have many female friends and B) who isn’t mentally stable.

    1. If she doesn’t have many (or any) female friends, she might be going through something. The last thing she needs is another man waiting in the wings. Don’t “take a ticket” – the last thing you need is the mental strain of “will she – won’t she.” **It’s better to sideline this person as an acquaintance unless her male friends are fucking awesome! In which case – get a membership to the wolf pack, braaaahh.**
    2. Someone who isn’t emotionally mentally stable will drag you down psychologically.

    Weirdos, kooks, and crazies deserve friends too – but not at the cost of you.

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