Lost my friends, lost the girl I was dating, and seemingly losing my future…

tl;dr: 2022 has been an incredibly difficult year for me… this year I lost an entire group of friends, a girl I dated for 10 months and sincerely cared for, and it seems my dreams of med school are becoming unattainable.

the whole story:

After going on a trip to Europe with some hometown friends and a friend from the current city I live in, I ended up losing an entire group of friends. The friend from my current city ended up being a bit shocked at how different I was around my old hometown/childhood friends, to the point that he said he didn’t want to be around me anymore. I can promise I never did anything egregious, I guess we just weren’t as close friends as I thought. This ended up creating a divide in our group of friends, and after still spending some time with the others, they eventually completely ghosted me. They were a group of friends that always told me that I “brought them all together”, and in the end, they pushed me out…

And just yesterday I became officially broken up with a girl I had dated for 10 months– a girl I really really cared for, and maybe even loved. Though she never wanted it to be serious in the beginning, she ended up getting feelings for me too, telling me all sorts of intimate things (like how she wants me to meet her family, how she’s never felt like another guy like she does for me, and how she was shocked when I told her I wanted to build a healthy relationship with her because no one else had ever said that to her), She randomly started pulling her feelings away until I ended up breaking up with her because I never saw her anymore. When I tried to go back because I missed her and felt that things could work out, she just told me to move on, told me that she has to be alone in her room to deal with her anxiety and that when she says she wants to be alone, “alone means alone”. She was tired of me asking for her to be around after only seeing her like once every two weeks, even though she had time on two occasions to be with her friends instead of me. She also said she doesn’t have the mental stability to “deal with someone else” in a serious relationship. Overall she was kind of a jerk about it.

On top of all that, I am applying for medical school and despite having worked extremely hard to have a very competitive application, I have gotten no love from any schools. Traditionally, December is when it’s about time to start preparing to reapply.

I’m really just venting, but if anyone felt their year has also been really not great, I feel for you and hope that you and I can both come out on top in 2023.