I recently moved to the UK from Southeast Asia. I was prepared for the weather and, I guess I am doing better at keeping myself warm but, taking a shit has been a fucking nightmare lately. I have seen myself repeatedly closing the door and walking back to my room, knowing I don’t have the strength to land my ass on the toilet. I don’t have a heater in the washroom also, I am not even sure if that is even a thing.
Surely there must be a fix or a life hack for this right?
49 comments
Kidnap local children and make them sit on it ahead of my carefully planned winter bowel movements.
Clench your teeth before sitting. If you close your eyes too, it comes as a shock and you don’t feel it as bad.
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Its literally freezing for the first 1 or 2 seconds then its absolutely fine, no need to keep it warm.
We don’t! I don’t know why but we just never think to heat the toilet seat – and actually it feels a bit weird if we sit on the seat and it’s warm.
I went to Japan earlier this year and found the heated toilet seats a bit tricky to get used to, but they helped a lot when I was on my period.
As others have said, you might be able to find lids which feel less cool when you sit on them. I think, online, you can also buy fabric seat covers which might help (although this doesn’t feel very hygienic to me since you can’t just wipe them down).
Happy pooping!
Tear off two strips of 3x TP squares, lay one on each side of the seat. When you’re done, use the facing-up sides to wipe. Also works on public toilets you don’t want to touch.
Pee on it a bit before you sit down for the main event, obviously…
life hack = be brave
Many small uk houses do have a heater next to the toilet as it’s the only space in the bathroom. Otherwise, there’s no shame in making a soft cover for it
Cover it in deep heat
Sit down clothed for a few seconds first, THEN pull your trousers down.
Two simple options,
1. Man up
2. Use a hair drier to heat up the seat
There are other options, but those 2 are the most basic
Cover it with a few wee bits of toilet paper
Is this really a problem?
Sit down and it’s warm a second later. It’s never even been a consideration if mine and I’ve been to some really cold houses where the bathroom doesn’t even have a radiator.
Just man up and sit on it. Warns up after about 20mins
You get use to it, just don’t end up with one of those stupid fluffy toilet seat covers. Worst bathroom invention I’ve ever seen, that can’t be hygienic in the slightest.
Make your partner to first.
Just shit the bed, lifehack!
It’s like jumping in the swimming pool. First few seconds are COLD but then it’s alright.
Use a wooden seat, it feels warmer than plastic I find…
You get used to it.
Put it this way – if I moved to SE Asia and asked you how to deal with the heat you may say something like “air con” but ultimately it’s down to one simple solution: **Adapt**.
Human beings populated the earth from Africa to Siberia. We adapted to each location. So will you.
Before you mentioned it I hadn’t even realised my toilet seat is always cold when I sit down. Because I adapted. You will too.
If you’re really struggling then put toilet paper on the seat. It will insulate your legs/arse from the cold.
You don’t have any sort of heating in the bathroom? That’s not normal.
You sit down, do a sharp intake of breath and say “oooooohhh!” in as high a pitched voice as you possibly can. By then, it’ll have warned up and you can look forward to telling the next person you see how cold the bog seat was.
Theres something disconcerting about an already warm toilet seat.
Wear your boxers back to front and poo through the flap.
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Wait until someone else has had a dump first and climb over them to get to the seat the moment they open the door.
People warm their toilet seats?
Line with toilet paper.
Two sheets for each side, and three sheets to meet them together accross the front.
Wouldnt have it any other way.
A quick couple of laps around the seat with a butane/propane blowlamp should do the trick. I wouldn’t risk it on a plastic seat, but a good sturdy wooden one should be able to handle it.
One of the horrors of life is sitting down in a public toilet to find it is warm
Only solution is to make your arse colder than the room, so contact with the toilet seat feels like a relief
Maybe a bag of frozen peas down your joggers?
Rip a hole in your underpants and poop . That’ll sort you out nicely
Pee on it to establish dominance.
Jam one foot in the toilet roll holder and the other on the side of the bath, leverage yourself up by pushing against the wall with one hand, while pulling yourself up by the shower curtain with the other… establish a stable squat position, with your bum 3-4 feet directly above the seat. Don’t rush the dismount.
Most people from the UK have metal toilet seats and will lay a pan of hot coals on it beforehand. All the other weirdos just sit down on a cold seat and get on with it.
My parents house was really cold in the winter, in the days before central heating. I used to sit on my hands, the toilet seat was that cold.
I’ve never noticed this to be a problem. I believe my bottom warms up the toilet seat pretty quickly if the seat is cold.
If your bottom is too small, I recommend weighted squats.
Can’t believe nobody has mentioned vigorously rubbing the backs of your legs before you sit down. It generates some warmth but it also provides a bit of sensory overload so the cold shock of the seat doesn’t register as much.
You don’t. You sit down like a man, scream “Jesus Fucking Christ” and pray that it’s a quick one.
Honestly, sitting on a warm toilet seat feels weird. It usually only happens when someone else has sat on it before you recently and that feels weird.
If you asked my wife, it’s because I’m sitting in there for fucking hours
Train your cat to sleep on the toilet seat to keep it warm.
I suggest you go to a charity shop. You might need to visit a few, but you’ll soon find a lovely crocheted set, usually pink, pale blue, or lemon, which goes on the toilet seat, toilet cover, and the area where you stand to pee. This will keep the seat warm when you sit, or your feet warm while you stand. If you’re really lucky, you’ll find one with tassels, or even one with a matching lady who covers your bog rolls. Luxury.
Simply rub briskly with face before sitting down.
Get a blow torch and pre-heat it for a minute before sitting down, or cut a hole in your trousers that can be easily undone so you can do your business without your cheeks touching cold plastic
There is nothing worse than going to take a dump at work, and sitting down to find the seat still warm from another man’s buttocks
I was in Kyoto(you know the climate change Kyoto) some years ago and was struck by just how much electricity was being wasted keeping things warm including toilet seats and a kettle that kept water *hot all the time.*
I moved from SE Asia to the UK 3 years ago. Cold toilet seats I got used to, but toilet paper instead of a bum gun I’ll never accept.
Rip a big fart into the bowl, then immediately turn around and light it. It warms it up by just enough to take the edge off, plus the blue angel rising from the bowl looks cool.