I have a friend that recently started ghosting me when we were pretty close friends. What happened is she broke up with her boyfriend and then the war in Ukraine started to get worse to which she told me ‘hard times in Russia sorry for ignoring’ . Now I knew that from the war starting she felt bad talking to people while it was happening but she never explicitly said this to me this time, she continued to ghost me until the start of November to which i got the message ‘Let’s talk another time.’. I then gave her space and over a month later i reached out saying ‘Would you like to talk about it now?’ i got ghosted again where she just read it and never replied. I felt hurt and asked ‘Are you just going to continue to ghost me and make me feel like nothing to you forever?’ to which she replied saying ‘I want to stop talking, thank you for everything you’ve done and i wish you all the best, i know you’ll find good people and friends, sorry’ i then asked if she was able to give me a reason why and the only thing she said is ‘I don’t feel comfortable with this communication’ I then replied saying that she meant a lot to me and if there is anything i can do to help to let me know and that i would appreciate if she took a little longer to make this decision since it was a big one. I then got the reply ‘I don’t wanna talk anymore and this is a goodbye, im not changing my decision. I really wish you all the best’ she then blocked me on iMessage before i could respond and then suspended her IG but hasn’t blocked me on anything else. My question is if anyone can give me advice to the whole situation as i don’t understand her reasoning as it doesn’t sound like it’s something of my doing. What im asking really is do i just let this friendship be over and be okay with it ? If she never planned to contact me again surely she would’ve blocked me everywhere. I’d love to hear your opinions.
TLDR; My friend started ghosting after the war situation in Russia got worse and her relationship ended. Before all this our friendship was going amazing and we would talk everyday then randomly she ended our friendship saying it was because ‘she didn’t ‘ feel comfortable with this communication’ i’d like to hear peoples opinions on the matter.
1 comment
It sounds like she’s scared to talk to you.
Since free speech is limited in Russia, and the legal system there is dubious, she may be afraid of getting criminally charged or assaulted if she keeps talking to you. I don’t know her situation well obviously, but it’s plausible that’s a real risk for her.
It would only be detrimental to try to contact her further right now. So my recommendation is that you stop trying to contact her at all. If she later on decides it’s safe to contact you, she may decide to do so in the future, but there’s no guarantee.
And if she does contact you, months or years from now, it’s up to you whether you are open to contact with her then.
So focus on taking care of yourself. Mourn your loss. Remind yourself that her decision wasn’t personal. And move on.