I (F23) have a MUCH higher sex drive than my (M23) partner.

15 comments

1. Your sex drive is perfectly normal, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just because you have a higher sex drive than your partner doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Everyone has different levels of libido and that’s okay.

   The key thing to remember is communication and understanding when it comes to this kind of issue in relationships. Talk openly with your partner about differences in sexual needs so that both sides can come to an agreement that works for both people. Mutual respect should always be part of these conversations – it sounds like being constantly asked for favors isn’t ideal, so make sure your partner feels respected and appreciated during these discussions too!
   Good luck!

2. RIP ur inbox

   But on a serious note, have you sat down and really expressed that concern with your current partner? I’m sorry that a previous one shamed you like that. It’s one thing to ask to have a breather or take a break from a lot of sex, but it’s another to disparage your partner over it.

   I’ve found as I got older, not that I’m old at 27, and as I found my current partner who is incredible and the dynamic is finally healthy unlike many others previously, my once extremely high libido has tapered down.

   Both my husband and I are happy with our sex life and because I do not care to have outside opinions weighing in on our frequency, I can tell you that in my own experience, sex drives often ebb and flow.

   Sometimes my husband has a very high drive, sometimes it’s very low to the point of us testing his T-levels because we were concerned (they are fine). Sometimes I’m the one who can’t keep it in my pants and ride him ragged, and sometimes I don’t have the extra energy to give.

   I would communicate with your partner, be honest, open, and vulnerable. Only you two will find what works and you’ll only get the reassurance you need by talking with him

3. Everyone thinks they like sex until they meet someone that likes it more than them.

4. I know the feeling , but from my personal experience coming from your perspective, not everyone is gonna have a high sex drive all the time.

   My ex was all about it at first, and as time went it gradually went down on her end. She was not as sexual and her love language was different than mine.

   I realized learning love language of your partner is very important, she taught me that. I didn’t even know what the hell that meant lol. Until she educated me on it.

   Maybe try to learn his love language and that will help you find more reasons to be sexually active. Thats how it was for her. I neglected certain aspects of her own love needs and she was less turned on. Maybe he feels the same. The honeymoon phase only lasts so long.

   If you love or like this person enough you will adapt or not.

   Finding ways to compensate and still be happy with that person would be my advice. Learn their love language. I guarantee you will get hella laid after that.

5. It’s been the exact same way for me. I feel sorry for you hun

6. One word:

   *Polyamory*

7. Holy crap this sounds like my situation completely . I felt the same way but in the end I loved her enough to try and move past that. For awhile I also thought something was wrong with me :/.

   It ends up hurting them to the point where they just feel like a tool. I learned that the hard way. My love language is the same as your dudes honestly.

   Maybe try to cuddle and stuff without sexual moves. He will eventually want to have sex honestly.he is a guy so it will draw him in! Especially if you don’t have any expectations.

   It’s hard though cuz cuddling makes me a little horny lol.
   So I had to find ways to get my mind off waiting for the move but just forgetting about it all together . Crazy enough the sex came back!

   Go on more dates too. I know dating gets forgotten about once you are with someone for a good amount of time. Having a partner ship I find that you get caught up in each others lives so much , and forget about treating yourselves.

   This is just coming from a guy who messed up royally with the love of my life. I just want to avoid that for anyone else!

8. Try sending him vids or pics throughout the day… or do things so when he gets home he feels relaxed and not stressed. Men have to think about other things but Im sure he appreciates you. Also, him not being available everytime may be a good thing.. give you more of a reason to build yourself up to that moment. Sometimes less is more. Sometimes youll find yourself having more sex than other times but as long as you guys find one another is all that matters… communicate as much as possible

9. So to add a real comment in addition to my snarky one…

   1) Do NOT apologize or feel bad for being you. Uou like sex a lot? Own it. Love it. Live it.

   2) Do NOT apologize for being assertive in asking for your needs to be met. I love it when my wife initiates sex, and there’s a shit ton of men that would also love to have you doing the same for them.

   3) iNFO: I don’t understand the thing about “when we are with friends” – do you two have a group sex thing going on or are you saying something else?

   4) if anyone ever says “What is wrong with you” about your sex drive, do not hesitate to repeat their question right back to them. That question is just pure abuse by your ex, who knew he was inadequate and couldn’t keep up with your needs.

   Reading your post, I thought to myself that you’re probably in the 99% percentile of libido, which is an outlier, but it’s not a bad thing, it’s just who you are. If you are worried about your BF’s opinion of you and your libido, ask him. Have an adult conversation. Discuss your needs using “I statements” and encourage him to respond in similar fashion. Explore opportunities for mutually rewarding compromise. Talk about your concerns regarding being looked down on for initiating sexual activity.

   I suspect that you’ll be pleasantly surprised by his responses. And if you aren’t, then that’s an indication that you might need to consider a change of partner, because there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with you or your sex drive.

10. First, I think it’s important to identify this as something about you without a value judgement. It’s not right or wrong, it’s how you are.

    Second – what does he say? This is an uncomfortable but important conversation to have. If you want to have your needs met, and your needs are unusual, then you need to be your own advocate.

    Third – about your ex, who told you something was wrong with you because you wanted to much sex – they’re a cruel, judgemental person who think they’re the authority on the one true right amount of sex to want. What a strange thing to be.

11. Fortunate son.

12. Are you using a vibrator or toys during sex?

    I’ve found multiple women in my dating years that said they have higher sex drives than me. And it’s untrue. They were just having small orgasms. 3 women that I remember were like this. When I brought a hitachi vibrator into the mix their libido went down after 2-6 days. Once these changes were made they couldn’t keep going at the same pace. And beg for a once daily pace as they were now having more powerful intense orgasms that left them satisfied longer and they couldn’t keep going.

13. Honestly. I hope I can get some good answers here too. Every guy I have been with has complained about my high sex drive and have only met one person whose sex drive that was like mine but didn’t mind it. Because eof my high sex drive I’ve invested in a lot of toys, and finally fully embraced being poly

14. I wish my gf had a sex drive like you, we talk and make it work, if the rest of the relationship is all sweet don’t let this ruin it, overthinking is a pain at times haha, use toys and 4 to 5 times a week is still a good amount.

15. About the initiating: he probably isn’t doing it because he doesn’t have to. You’re beating him to the punch every time.