Me (25M) and my GF (24F) have been exclusive for about 3 months. The other night she asked me how I would feel about her selling her nudes. I asked a few follow-up questions– to whom? how often? and to how many people?

She responded that before we had started dating, she used to sell her nudes to “friends of friends,” specifically 2-3 people every month or so, and that they are reaching out to solicit more. I told her my gut reaction was that I wasn’t comfortable with it, but that I was glad she asked me. I told her I would sleep on it.

Overall I think I’m fairly relaxed, and I want to have a strong relationship where we’re both trusting enough that something like selling nudes wouldn’t matter. I also have no prejudice against folks who sell their nudes in general. But my qualms with it are as follows:

1. She’s selling them to “friends of friends”– people that she knows, and that she may see every once in a while (and people that *I* may see with her once in a while). It may put me on edge not knowing if someone I’m meeting is seeing her nudes.
2. She doesn’t need the money– she has a very well-paying job. So it feels like she actually just wants to be able to send nudes to people (which I’m only alright with if its “transactional” in nature– not if it’s to get attention or to be sexual *with* another person)

As for advice from you all– can you help me understand if my stance contradicts itself? Can I be both supportive and alright with selling nudes, but not okay with it in this context? Am I being fair to her? Also, do you all have any advice on how I could work through some of my un-comfortability with it? Like I said– I want to give her the space to make decisions for her own body (I *want* to let her if she wants to), but I have to be honest with how I feel about it.

**TLDR:** GF wants to sell nudes. I’m not sure if my stance on it is a fair to her. And I’d like some help with how to work through it.

Thanks for your help.

25 comments

  1. This would be a hard no from me.

    The 2 points you make are completely valid, in my opinion, and would be deal breakers for me.

    I think that whatever the outcome, you two have very different moral standards that seem incompatible.

    Edit.
    Or, as the youngsters say, “she’s for the streets”

  2. Kind of depends on you. If you are ok with a gf who is a sex worker say ok, if not say no.

  3. If your incomfortable about her selling nudes then thats how you feel, make it known and discuss it. From the sounds of it she asked, you said your uncomfortable with it and she said she wouldnt sell if your against it. So keep your stance here but have a talk with her. Good thing is that it is signs of good communication early on in the relationship and boundaries being discussed

  4. Ehh, the part about selling them to friends of friends….how did she start selling her nudes to them in the first place…? Did she have an OF or was she in the business somehow and having her friends advertise her to their friends? Usually, if a friend of a friend is asking for nudes, the conversation had to lead there to begin with either in person or via some other avenue. That would be my concern – that there is more going on behind the scenes than just transactional. That couples along with them being people she or you may see out with a group of friends that could create an uncomfortable situation for you or them, potentially. Imagine if you were buying nudes from a girl you know and you see her out with everyone and her boyfriend is with her. Kinda awkward. Your concern is completely valid and being that those are the people she is selling them to, I would probably not be comfortable with it. If it were strangers that she had never met and weren’t friends with her group, that is a different story.

  7. I think there is a difference in selling your nudes to random strangers in other parts of your country, different countries ect that you and your gf will never meet VS. someone you may have to interact with for possible years to come that are in your girlfriends social circle.

  9. I would encourage her to stay clear away from selling them and the long term negative effects of it.

  13. So, question. And give this one some serious thought.

    Would you be as bothered if she were choosing to become a sex worker for strangers instead of the “friends of friends”?

  14. Just wanted to say that I really admire the maturity you’re demonstrating in your consideration of this issue. I’ve met people decades older than you who wouldn’t even come close.

  15. Ask her the same and hand out pics of your unshaved balls to your friends.

    Tones change quick.

  19. You feel the way you do for very good reasons. She can do what she wants with her body but it also sounds like she blurs the lines of your relationship boundaries and her respect for you or lack there of.

  20. I don’t know where “trust” really falls into the topic of selling nudes.

    I completely trust my husband but the relationship I am interested in having doesn’t involve anyone else seeing his naked body.

    You’re allowed to have whatever boundaries you want in a relationship. You can draw the line at any point.

  21. I mean having a huge need for external validation from other men is not good for y’all’s closed relationship.

  24. This is crazy. Your girlfriend was selling pictures of her body to men. The answer is simple. No she can’t sell pictures of her body to other men. Whatever happened to your body is your temple and it’s precious. If she refuses to accept your opinion than you can break up with her. There is no way I would accept this. I hope you don’t either. If she needs the money do what tens of millions of other women do. Get a job fully clothed.

  25. No need to work through anything. If your girlfriend thinks it is ok to do something that you believe is immoral and disrespectful to the relationship in exchange for money, all you need to is break up with her.

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