Any ideas of how do you avoid being trap into a debate with disagreeable person. I am asking this question because with age/life-experience, I come to a late but better than never realisation that conversations are better when the person engages in a collaborative discussion rather than objecting to every thing you say.
6 comments
Silence is a powerful tool.
If you can’t walk away, there’s an argument to be made for just letting them run out of steam. Noncommittal replies like “Mmm?” and “oh,” can be useful. In general, nod and smile vaguely until they suck all the air of the room, then thank them for their thoughts and change the subject.
They thrive on opposition. If you refuse to give it to them, they lose focus and flail.
Say up front that you’re not in the mood for a debate at the moment if they start to do it. Then, I guess just change the topic to something else
I like the words “well, there you go!”. This basic statement avoids agreeing with the person, while also not disagreeing with them. It doesn’t invite further discussion, and gives you the chance for any easy out. “Nice talking to you, excuse me”.
If the people around you are familiar with phrase, It gives you the added joy of them knowing you just blew off this person, and that can add some fun to boring / annoying conversations.
“If you argue with an idiot there are two idots.”
“Ok thank you I wish you all the best, youre right ig”
Something like that dont waste your precious time and energy
Methods when someone directly opposes something you say (“I really enjoyed the Midnights album” “That album is trash lol”)
* “RIP” / “Okay” / “Hm.” “mm.”
* Noncommital response that indicates you hear what they’re saying, but don’t care about hearing their further thoughts about it. Good idea to change the topic of conversation from here, otherwise you might open yourself up to a rant.
* “What are your thoughts on why?” / “Do you mean in a ‘you didn’t enjoy it’ way or an objective way?”
* Continues the conversation without making it personal on your end, and continued questions force them to be more nuanced in their opinion.
* However, some people are boring and will say “objectively bad” and “It just is”. In those cases that becomes a kind of a ‘slow nod and change the subject’ territory.
* “It’s definitely a different sound from her other albums. Almost sounds like an entirely different artist from her Folklore era.”
* This kind of looks for an agreeable or neutral point of any kind.
* This is usually best for situations when you’re talking with someone who you otherwise agree with, and the conversation suddenly threatens to take a wrong turn. It becomes less effective when someone is trying to disagree with you on everything. Which I know is useless for OP’s situation, but maybe useful for other people seeing this thread.
* Looking at them and not saying anything, then going back to whatever you were doing.
* Often contrarians want attention, so in the long-term this lets know that you’re not an interesting person to ‘play with’.
* *Extremely* effective in a group situation if you can look at the person disagreeing, glance at someone else and smile, then go back to eating/typing/reading/talking with someone else.
“Oh gotcha. Agree to disagree! The weather’s been a little up and down lately, hasn’t it?”