As the title reads, I’ve been seeing this new guy for a little while now and we’ve slept together several times. I really like him and I think he’s great, and I’m pretty certain he’s attracted to me because he gets hard super easy, from just a peck on the lips basically.
The problem is, I haven’t been able to make him cum at all. He’s said I’ve gotten him super close, and I asked him about what else I could do to help and he said nothing, just that he gets “too in his head” and gets nervous, so the pressure is too much I guess?
This has never been a problem for me with past partners, so I’m wondering what could be wrong. I’ve heard of certain men having masturbation/porn addictions that make it hard for them to cum so I am worried about that. But mostly looking for advice on how to proceed, because at this point I’m feeling pretty inadequate.
5 comments
Very likely he’s telling the truth and is just thinking too much. It’s very common. Very unlikely there’s some problem with you.
He’ll work through it in his own time. You can help by being cool about it. Worrying over it a lot will add pressure which can be harmful to the desired goal.
> and I asked him about what else I could do to
Ask him and doing what he likes is the only thing you can do. If it’s not working is on him to learn how to cum while having sex. Don’t blame yourself
First off, you aren’t inadequate. Please don’t think that. It’s not you, it’s him, and neither of you are at fault here.
All you can do is ask him about it once, and let it be. You got your answer. The more you worry about and focus on this, the less likely he’ll be able to do it. Trust me, he’s already thinking way too much about this. If you’re done, and he’s still trying to finish and needs to give up, and you feel the need to comment, just say something along the lines of, “That’s OK, you still enjoyed it?”
Have you tried going down on him? My husband was a widower and had difficulties until I did that .
Just take good amount of lube and jerk him off.