Men of Reddit: what are you biggest insecurities when it comes to dating and why?

31 comments

1. That someone wants to date me for what I have versus who I am.

2. Girl only liking me because I make the cum and not for who I am.

3. Person settling for me instead of being with me because they really like me.

4. I don’t date much anymore but it was always that she would be one of those people who was clingy and needy so I would just look for signs of it and run if I found them.

5. They like the idea of me and not who I actually am

6. Being hurt again.

   I was kind of scarred last time because we ended for reasons beyond our control but were still in love.
   Being hurt makes it not worth getting back into another relationship. Being broken can only happen a couple of times.

7. The fear of someone else better coming along and replacing me. 16 years together, she met me when I had nothing, we’ve been together through thick and thin. Yet I still have days where I can’t get out of my own head worrying that if she met someone else who was “better”, she’d realize how much better she could have it with them.

8. That they’ll get up and leave, find another dude within the week, and leave me in the dirt, and there’s nothing I can do about it

9. Like ten years ago this girl I dated turned out to be pretending to be upset or whatever and would post screenshots of me trying to comfort he, bragging about how she could do it and how fun it was to be a bitch.

   Since then, I only communicate completely neutrally through text to women, regardless of the situation.

10. Someone that dates me only for my money, and someone that has numerous guy friends on social media and in real life… It’s not that I don’t trust her I don’t trust the guys.

11. “Inevitable” abandonment aka self sabotage

12. She don’t like that I’m married

13. Fear of beinv cheated on, as I’ve been cheated on in my past 4 long term relationships.

14. Ive have a lot of one sided relationships, i never notice til the end

15. to be rejected for the second date. Happens with me most the time lol

16. That where I am now emotionally/mentally/etc will sort of interfere with my chances of dating a gal who’s into nerdy stuff or that would not mesh well with someone like me. It already doesn’t win me many friends. It’s just this weird catch 22, if not that gals in that grouping sometimes have an ego of women who have a bit more going for them. It’s just a clusterfuck. I mean at times you have to fit into a little box and women and not as flexible as they expect us to be.

17. Diarrhea

18. “Will she make my life miserable?”

    That’s pretty much the only question I ask myself again and again whenever I’m even slightly interested in someone. And anything she says or does will be evaluated against that question and I compare it to all the women I know that have made the men in their life miserable.

19. My balding head.

20. That she’ll think I’m boring, I struggle with things to talk about

21. That there just won’t be that spark that I had with my ex.

22. The constant cycle of liking people who don’t like me and being liked by people I don’t like

23. My insecurities are not about me , but more like about the girl / woman I would be interested in . I’m to afraid we might actually not be a match and that I make a misteak by dating her , and that I wil regret dating her . I had this happen to me once , I did not enjoy the situation .

24. As an introvert with crap social skills, it’s the constant need to talk and converse and be funny and interesting and entertaining.

    I get socially tired really quickly and just want to crawl into my shell and not talk to anyone, but I feel like someone would just get bored of me really fast.

25. That they don’t really take me seriously or respect me, they have me as a sort of pet because they had no other options. That they might leave me because an “actual” person was available.

26. Where do I begin lol

27. Disappointing her in bed

28. Knowledge that if i will be honest they will lost interest
    But i’m not dating anyway

29. That they don’t love me, I’m just convenient.

30. That they’ll realize how horribly boring I am and start trickling out because I don’t live an ambitious lifestyle of vacations, dinner parties and constant weddings.

    That my penis size is just visually unappealing and horribly average which will turn them off.

    That they’ll be confused by my immature personality. Not really too immature but I’m not as serious about life as most 30 year olds around me. I don’t care to get promotions. I make around 50k after taxes and I don’t want to strive to make more and I don’t want more responsibilities at work. This could be a turn off for a lot of women who want ambitious men and who are college educated. Which I’m not. I work blue collar and I’m fine with it.

31. My last relationship i was traded off. 3 years relationship of living together helping her through everything. My love language is giving i help her no matter what, and i believe we are a team.

    Well, when i needed her because of a small bout of depression she changed me for another dude, and 2 weeks later, they were already together. I helped everyone of her family to obtain stuff in a third world country. Helped her build a business and such.

    Now, I feel as though love is useless and focus on my hobbies and kill myself in the gym. I need to get over this because I shut down any attempt of being asked out, flirted, and such. I just dont see it’s worth it investing time, money, and feelings for someone where everything seems so shallow.