I (24F) after not dating for almost 3 years remember why I hate it so much and have been avoiding it. That pit in your stomach when you start to like someone. The fear they don’t like you as much as you like them. The desire to not appear ~too~ into them so withholding certain things you’d like to say or waiting a bit to text them back etc. I’ve been on four dates now with this dude and he’s cute and sweet but I was feeling a bit meh about him however have started to now develop heavy feelings for him I think. He’s extremely comfortable with physical affection, prolonged eye contact, really complimenting me etc. to the point where I fear he probably is just good at knowing how to make girls feel special/complimented to get laid or whatever so I withdrew a lot and the date wasn’t nearly as good as our others. I’m probably projecting bc I’m more of an anxious person at times but i feel like if someone was truly in awe or feeling rly that their date was stunning they wouldn’t feel so confident just saying it and being very flirty. Like it’s nerve wracking to be with someone you are extremely physically attracted to and guys who are too “smooth” about that shit scare the hell out of me bc it feels like an act. I feel sick to my stomach and terrified. I hate dating. This is mainly just a vent but I wanted to say good luck to all of you out there. It’s genuinely terrifying and so hard. If someone likes you a ton it can be scary, if someone doesn’t like you it can be soul crushing, and worst of all if they say they really like you and turn out to be lying or change their mind it feels indescribably bad. Fuck!
3 comments
Why are you holding back, make him feel as special as he makes you feel, (which could range from a lot to none at all). He mightn’t come back if he feels rejected, if you like up just go ahead, just think, just like you, he might feel the same things you are describing. Now it’s your choice 🙂 and he should respect your choice.
Edit: Good luck ^^
Look, once you start developing feelings you need to bring up the question of what you are and if both of you are serious and going in the same direction (e.g. long term relationship). You need to do it asap. You need to ask him if he sees this going anywhere, and if the answer is anything other than a yes – you move on, so you wouldn’t fall for someone who’s not that into you.
Witholding your feelings and interest is a self sabotage tool. You’re just creating confusion and uncertainty in his mind which inevitably push him away.
Your actually experiencing this rn, but he didn’t even try to portray himself as uninterested. Imagine how much worse you would feel, if he did the same thing you’re doing to him rn!
Be upfront, and if he’s not into it, you can just move on we without hurting your own feelings.
I think this is all in your head. I’m a guy and I definitely do not approach, make eye contact, get physically intimate with girls I’m not interested in dating. Yes there are some guys that do it just to get laid. But it’s rarer than you believe. There’s a lot of great guys looking for something real.
The intention of dating is to eventually be together which includes sex, that’s the whole point. If you’re not interested in reflecting back his interest then you should decline dates and not lead somebody on.
Most guys wait for the girl to bring up the “what are we” talk first. It’s because of all these dumbass content creators telling men to be a challenge, make her chase you etc. Find out if it’s mutual, if not then move on.