I (27F) have been sleeping with someone (23M) for a little while now – the sex is really nice, considered a little “vanilla”, but that doesn’t bother me at all.
We’ve had vague conversations about experiences – he grew up fairly repressed and didn’t date or start having sex until later in life; I was the opposite. I think I might be the second person he’s had sex with which is a travesty for women everywhere because he is extremely, kind, handsome, attentive, and gentle.
After sex the last few times, he’s casually mentioned he’d do “anything for me”. We do feel safe and comfortable with each other, but I think he feels shy expressing exactly what he would like. I have asked, and he replies mostly with a version of satisfying me. I do think he would probably like if I just took the lead with whatever it is I want. Normally I don’t have a problem with doing this – I’m not sure if it’s because he’s so gentle and kind, or if he’s slightly inexperienced, but I feel nervous.
I am more than willing to do it – we have a great connection and I think it could take great sex and make it amazing. I am just curious little things I could ask him to do for me that aren’t overwhelming off the bat. Sexy, small power dynamic things that don’t necessarily drift into kink.
Currently – just with our bodies, voices, etc. I do have a vibrator we could use, but no other toys right now. He loves my tits if that helps!!
7 comments
Let him try anal? I dunno, might as well toss him in the deep end
Well ask your self this any kinks of interest?? If so talk about them, it all depends on how open you are to exploding all that is sexual.
Have him massage you and/or bathe you. Brush your hair or shave your legs.
On the more explicitly sexual side: Ask him to put lotion on your tits, but tell him not to get hard. Have him use the toy on you while you watch a video. Tell him where to cum when he’s almost there.
Have him sit up on the bed and you sit and lean your back on his chest. Then take his hands and teach him how to touch you down there.
It depends on what your definition of vanilla is and how overwhelmed you think he’ll be.
If vanilla means just missionary and PIV, I’d try some more positions. For power dynamics, try a position where you’re more in control like cowgirl. If vanilla means different positions and just PIV, I’d try oral – for power dynamics, make him go down on you.
If you’re already there but you’re not in the bedroom, maybe some situational stuff: sex in the shower, the kitchen, the living room, etc. The power dynamic things would be you demanding it happens in that location (i.e. “fuck me on the kitchen counter, now”).
Tell him you want to create a sexual menu together with him…..
Here are ideas from [Women’s Health](https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a32674514/sex-bucket-checklist/)
Here are ideas from [Men’s Health](https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a34963759/sex-bucket-list/)
Have him rank it as “definitely, maybe, no way”
The main thing that an inexperienced lover is concerned about isn’t about whether they’ll have a good time, it’s whether the other person (in this case: you) is going to have a good time.
So when he says that he’d do anything for you, what he’s trying to say is “I want to feel like I’m capable of pleasing you.” Getting there helps to increase his confidence which, in turn, will likely help make him a more open and adventurous lover.
You don’t even have to think about this in terms of power play. You could simply tell him, “I’m going to get off as many times as I want and you’re going to help me do it.” That, alone, would probably get him excited. Win-win.
I’d find out something you think he like and then take the lead and just do it. I’m naturally shy sometimes to so even though I’m usually dominant in bed, when it comes to new things I don’t mind the girl taking the first steps