First of all, english is not my first language so I am sorry I am not being clear in some aspects…
I, 20 F in my first year of university and I’ve been talking to some people trying to make friends and recently I’ve been talking to, let’s call him “L” 21M. Until now, we’ve only been talking about subjects related to the class we both take. The issue here is today, after he helped me a bit on my assignment, and after me thanking him, “L” texted me that i owe him lunch now\~. With the “\~” included. I am clueless on knowing if a guy is making a move on me or not. How can I know if he is hitting on me? Because if he was, I am not interested because i have a bf that I love a lot… I thought on responding him with “i have a bf so idk” but what if he was just being friendly? I also do not want to make things awkward because I misinterpreted his actions. Also, I’ve never told “L” I have a boyfriend, since we’ve been talking for two weeks now, and honestly never thought he would be interested on me, and yes I do plan on telling my boyfriend about his message as soon as he wakes up.
TLDR; My new guy friend (21 M) asked me to treat him lunch after he helped me with my assignment and I dont know if he has ulterior moves (other than friendship)
2 comments
A – Tell your boyfriend. Doesn’t have to be a thing if you don’t make it a thing. “So and so was nice help with the assignment and invited me to lunch but I’m obviously not going.”
B – You can decline lunch or any non work related 1 to 1. Lunch can be something extremely average like sandwich before class.
C – You can casually drop a mention of your BF without seeming like you miss interpreted. L will find reasons to message you and if you wait for the right time you can mention your BF. (“I got so much traffic dropping my BF off today”)
D – You don’t have to assume he is or not interested in more. Act as if he isn’t and it’s obvious and don’t worry about what he thinks. The people that best handle that immediately put everyone as friends and act as such.
E – It’s ok if he has ulterior motives. It happens. As long as you don’t play along it’s ultimately his problem.
F – If you feel he’s being to obtuse you can stay away from him. You’ve known him 2 weeks
Tldr: Don’t overthink/overreact. People become interested and they lose interest. Casually drop hints and let people handle their own things/feelings
I would at least share this with your BF “so this guy at uni was so kind to help me with an assignment and invited me to lunch. what do you think as a guy, is he making a romantic move? Or is it just lunch. No, I don’t like him that way, just see him as a friend from uni”
Is it just lunch in the uni cantina? With other students around? Then I would think it’s pretty casual.
Do you know whether he is single or in a relationship?