I’m a 16-year-old male who has been trying to get into a relationship for the past two months.
For reference, I used to be extremely unpopular among girls for most of my short life. Yeah, they kind of knew that I existed, but they didn’t pay much attention to me. I was merely this strange guy who didn’t talk to anybody, received very good grades, yet, was cocky enough to skip classes.
I decided to change the situation two months ago because I got attracted to a girl from the grade below me. Long story short, I received three nice hugs (my first hugs ever) and a not-so-nice rejection.
It didn’t discourage. On the contrary, I became more outgoing and socialable. This led me to becoming much more popular because people realised that I was actually capable of holding a conversation.
Because of all that attention, it is difficult to keep myself rational and sane. I flirt with one girl, then another, then another, whoever comes my way and looks at me.
There is a girl in my class who started giving a lot of signs of attraction to me. Eye contact, laughing, touching (neck, back, forearms, hands), putting her head on my shoulder or my back, hugging me (she had refuaed to hug my other classmate), making extremely dirty japes, saying that she loves me in a joking manner. Naturally, she captivated my mind because she was the one who was giving me the biggest amount of attention.
Today, I decided to escalate things further with her, but she quickly dismissed me, after making another dirty joke and basically insulting me in a subtle way. Here’s the end of our conversation on Telegram:
*”We could learn more about each other someday”.*
*”Someday…”*
*”Well, we could do that faster, for instance, tomorrow”.*
*”For instance **never**”.*
*”Nice hint, huh”.*
*”That wasn’t a hint”.*
Why the hell does it hurt so badly? I know this girl only for a month, but I’ve already become too attached to her, simply because of her words and attention.
**How do I become less clingy?**
2 comments
Say:
“I care about myself a lot” three times.
Then say “yes, yes, yes”.
You need to develop other interests. Focus on building skills and developing hobbies, or even school. Focus on loving yourself and investing in your future. Do you know what your next steps are after high school? Are you planning on college? Do you have a career in mind? Research stuff and figure out how you can best set yourself up for success! A relationship shouldn’t be your priority right now. If someone comes along and you really click with each other, then that’s great! But actively seeking a relationship, jumping from girl to girl like that, it won’t be successful. As a girl, that’s a major red flag. If you asked me out, I knew you wouldn’t be doing it because you liked me for who I was, you just thought you might have a chance with me. You didn’t want me, you just wanted a relationship. I went to high school with boys like that, and they were never successful.
So in short, focus on yourself and your dreams. This will divide your attention and hopefully you’ll be less focused on girls and therefore be less clingy.