I (22M) have been dating this girl (24F) for almost 2 years now and it’s been really hard because of her commitment issues but I’ve put up with them. Recently she told me she doesn’t feel sexually attracted to me no matter what I do, instead she feels repulsed by every single act of intimacy or affection. According to her, It stems down to her commitment issues because this sign of stability is a turn off for her. And for that reason she broke up with me its been two weeks and I’m fucking devastated. I didn’t say anything when she was talking to me about it except for mentioning that I love her. She told Me if there’s any other way i can bring the spark back she’ll stay but if not then breaking up is the only option. I really love her and want her back, what can I do to bring the spark back?
4 comments
You can’t bring the spark back, if it was ever really there (for her) in the first place.
When one person in a couple says to the other “it’s over”, then the little ecosystem of love that has been created (be it one-sided, or mutual) is destroyed.
I’m sorry to be brutal, but in order for your own mental resilience to remain intact once the dust settles, you need to cut the ties, delete the phone numbers and other communication methods and concentrate on yourself for a while before meeting someone else.
The self-concentration/contemplation is important. That’s when you learn whatever it is you need to learn from this experience, to be able to have another relationship with someone else and not repeat history. Otherwise you’re just a butterfly, flitting from one relationship to the next, in search of something unachievable.
Leave and don’t look back. Forget confession your love to go along with a goodbye. She is giving you a lame excuse to go back to the dating game because she thinks that it’s more exciting, but if she keeps it up she will end up alone with five cats. It’s hard to be alone after a long term relationship, been there done that. So try to fill your time with activities and hobbies, maybe learn something new by going to night classes, and that will help you to meet new decent girls who will make it super easy and quick to get over her. Also, go to the gym and work hard, that should boost your self esteem to help you realize that she doesn’t deserve you.
Have some self respect.
Believe me, it’s impossible to fix it. You will definitely meet a soulmate.