I don’t know if I’m just getting old but I feel like since I lost my virginity I have less of a dirty mind.
When I was younger and a virgin I was a bit of a horndog with a sexual sense of humor. I still like dirty jokes, but I feel less positive about sex, my mind wanders to sex but it gives me less of an illusion as when I was younger. Porn is still okay, but less fun than it used to be and only to get off quickly, I no longer enjoy exploring more. Reading about sex is less fun too.
I used to have more curiosity before, and then I became sexually active with a boyfriend. The more I had sex, the less interesting it became. It felt fine and I have no regrets, but since then I have a harder time feeling engaged with the idea of sex.
Sex was always consensual, I don’t have any trauma.
I miss my former dirty minded self, now I feel less engaged with the idea of sex and less positive when a lot of people say that the more they had sex the dirtier they got, I feel the opposite and just felt less interested and I wonder why.
7 comments
[deleted]
Find a way to spice up the sex maybe? Role play? Introduce toys? You could even try swinging
Sounds like you might had too of a high hope for sex and generally things are more interesting and the curiosity is stronger and you can imagine it to be the greatest things ever before you had it, but is nothing to feel bad about, if you want to make your sex life more exciting reading erotic novel finding out your kinks imagine new things or try new things with your partner might help
It sounds like maybe before you were having sex you had a high sex drive and now that you know what’s it’s actually like, not so much
Just continue to explore
For most people, the sex they actually have is much more tame than the standards of “hot sex” set by porn and entertainment. It’s also more tender, messier, funnier, more vulnerable, etc… Often we find our kinkiest fantasies are just that—fantasies, unsuited for real life.
Age also plays a factor. Regardless of how active a sex life you keep, or how non-vanilla your predilections, you’re not going to “feel” as intensely as a mature adult than you did when you were a teenager. The hormonal process and newness of everything makes you feel all emotions more intently, romantic ones especially so.
I had high expectations for sex, and after two relationships I felt the same. It seemed no matter how I tried it was pretty meh so I kind of gave up. I used to mastrubate minimum daily and now it’s maybe a few times a month. I guess I just know the realities of it now and its no longer a turn on for me. Like occasionally an attractive actor will be in a sexy situation on screen and I’ll feel a response, but the I remember how sex actually is and that kills it.
Honestly the less sex I have, the hornier I am because time erodes my memory of how disappointing sex has been.