I have met a guy in 2019 and started with some casual fun. We have had really good sex every time and kept this sexual relationship over 3 years since I met him up. I know he has had different casual girls around just for having fun. I am ok with that. I have asked him to wear a condom every time and he does it. However he told me that he had an ONS with a girl 4 weeks ago ( I have not had sex with him after he had sex with that girl. ) and that girl just told him last night that she has a STD. He went for a GP and ran some tests today and has not had his result back until next Monday but he will let me know.
I do appreciate his honesty but am not feeling comfortable what happened to him. Also I do oral sex for him (without dental dams/ oral condoms) every time.
Do I keep this sexual relationship with him or just end it ? I am confused and seeking for advice here. I was thinking to talk with him about my concerns but I am just not sure if he will lie to me when this shit happens on him again or he is not aware of.
Thanks everyone
6 comments
I depends on many things. Did he wear a condom and runs tests because of the probability of catching something? Did he not wear a condom at all? Did he catch something during unprotected oral? If yes, was he violating “your (both)” condom rule with that?
If you engage in hookups, you can only control the health concern to a degree. The possibility of catching something is always present and may not be his fault.
By only reading what you described, he seems trustworthy because he told you about it. But you know him better than Reddit does, so the question of trust can’t really be answered nor were you or any other person here eyewitness of the use of said condom(s).
Well i mean he told you when anything out of the ordinary happened, went to get tested and told you about it. Sounds like his head is screwed on straight.
It sounds like he’s pretty honest in general, but you two might need to do more consistent updates when you’re considering sexual activity. This is the nature of casual sex, STIs are a risk, but they’re manageable with the right precautions.
Do whatever you need to feel safe.
I don’t see a reason why you should end it. He honestly shared with you all concerns and took steps to make sure he is ok and you are ok. Maybe stop having sex until his results come back clean?
You use protection, your partner is open and honest about their risk profile and has taken the appropriate steps to verify their status after a risky situation and that high risk activity isn’t a common occurrence.
Honestly, that sounds like everything you could want in a casual partner from a safety standpoint.
You sound pretty safe. And most people do not use barriers for oral. You’re fine. Just get tested to be safe