The title might be a bit misleading, but it is something that kind of bothers me from time to time. I am 23 years old, doing my masters at a good university, enjoying life as much as I can (although truth be told, still being hurt a bit by past events such as a cheating ex which I would argue led to self-esteem issues), have a ton of hobbies and more, so I wouldn’t say I bore women to death. However, whenever I ask somebody on a date, she says she isn’t interested.
That’s fair, I’m not saying women should date me, I’m not that entitled lol, but I am wondering what I’m doing wrong. In addition, dating apps aren’t working for me as well. I’m not getting many matches, if any at all, and I would argue that I’m not picky because it’s about the beauty on the inside and not the outside. I have had 3 relationships (you might be wondering why I’m worried lol) and those clearly didn’t work out, so its not like I lack experience. But I’m just wondering what I am/might be doing wrong… I would argue it’s a combination of being too nice and self-esteem issues. Any tips?
PS. Happy to answer questions to clarify!
7 comments
Firstly, being a genuinely nice person is never a bad thing. That’s what instantly drew me to my boyfriend, and is still one of my favorite things about him. It could be because of self-esteem issues. It sounds like you have a lot to offer, so you shouldn’t be asking why people don’t want to date you. You should see it as they aren’t right for you.
You said you are getting your masters at a good university, are you in a college town? From my experience in college, a lot of people (if not most) are looking for something casual. They may not be wanting to look for an actual partner. Do you have any group hobbies, or do you go out much?
>However, whenever I ask somebody on a date, she says she isn’t interested.
How many woman have you asked out in the last 30 days?
I think you just need to meet more women. You are at college, so this is easy as it is going to get. Once you start working, your social pool will narrow substantially. Classmates are pretty much fair game to ask out – workmates not always.
Just go out and do more stuff where you can meet people.
It’s because you don’t meet enough girls. How many girls did you meet last month?
This must be a confident issue. You’re coming across as low self esteem or even desperate which is like kryptonite to women.
Dw 80% of men can’t get dates
Low self-esteem will most definitely affect how you put yourself out there, and the vibe you bring across to women. Being cheated on before has probably also given you a fear of getting hurt again, which, will come through in your behaviours. Being too nice will stop you from being able to escalate during a date, and will push you into the ‘friendzone’.