I met a girl who is a psychologist a few days ago and instantly hit it off. It felt like meeting her and being with her is my destiny.
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We flirted a bit over WhatsApp and she enjoyed my compliments. She said her ex made her feel bad about herself.
I asked her thoughts on marriage and she did marriage is not for her.
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We met a week later and I gave her a red rose. She instantly said – “You shouldn’t have” and I realized it was a blunder.
Later on, while talking, we found we have so much in common.
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The next day after we meet, I flirted with her and she kinda enjoyed it. But suddenly there was a change in her tone. When I said I would love to spend my life with her, she said she was commitment-phobic and interested in me just as a friend.
Based on the conversation, a small red flag which I noticed was that her parents were not looking for any suitable groom for her, which is surprising considering she’s extremely beautiful and well-educated. She has resigned herself to living as a lonely girl and said her parents considered her their retirement plan. Her younger sister is married and she told me her sister gets all the compliments.
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The 2 of us have many common interests and qualities.
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I am really interested in her and would like to grow old with her. What should I do?
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1. Just be with her as a friend for a couple of months and see if she gets to like me?
2. How long should I try?
3. Furthermore, she said she’s commitment-phobic. Would being in a relationship with a commitment-phobic lead to a happy life? I don’t know a lot about this phobia.
4. Is she just being an attention seeker for compliments?
22 comments
You told a girl you want to spend the rest of your life with her after a few days…? Did I read that right?
You met her a few days ago and then met her a week later…in the future? I don’t understand the timeline here.
…. leave her alone. If youre not capable of doing what she requested: just being friends, leave her alone. She is a person, not a fancy decoration you just *have* to have.
For someone who is acting like youre mesnt to be together, you’re really not goving a shit about her, huh
Your best bet is just to not get hung up on her. You can’t “win” her over. She’s either interested or she’s not, there’s nothing you can really do to change that. Currently, she’s not interested in anything more than friendship and you just have to accept that. The reason why she feels that way is irrelevant.
You should just move on. Waiting around for someone rarely works out. You’re just hurting yourself waiting for her when you could be better spending your time looking for someone who’s actually romantically interested in you.
Maybe you don’t know each other well enough, maybe you’re not on the same channel. Good luck.
you sound unhinged
>a small red flag which I noticed was that her parents were not looking for any suitable groom for her
what the fuck are you talking about
lol yeah *she’s* the one with the red flag
>She has resigned herself to living as a lonely girl
lol who the fuck are you to make that call
you need to get a grip
Bro, you’re coming on wayyy too strong. You barely know her and already want to marry her? And she’s not even into you bro
There is no way you can know someone you met a few days ago is your destiny. You are moving way to fast. You don’t even know her. You dont know how she handles stress, or anger. You need to slow way down bro. Just get to know her. She can feel your desperate excitement and it is driving her away.
If you can, just be her friend. But do NOT do it to win her. Women are not idiots. We can tell. If you can’t dial it back, then move on. But you are going to need to learn to slow down in general.
Sorry but if a man I just met says they are my destiny im going to think they are creepy. You scared her off and there’s no way to get her back. You told her you wanted to spend your life with her…..after like a week. I WOULD RUN SO FAR AWAY. No way to fix this one you gotta let her go. It’s also concerning that you believe her parents need to be looking to find partners for her. They probably understand better than you that she is an independent woman who is not looking for a commitment.
You are infatuated with her. You don’t know her well enough to want to spend your life with her.
She’s chosen not to pursue you. She said she’s not interested. Leave her alone.
Look brother, you have what we like to call one itis. You have to realize that no one truly is “the one” until they are and you don’t realize that till years or maybe even marriage. You’re gonna hate this next part. Drop her like a bad habit and move on. If she still want’s anything she’ll reach out and if you can handle not getting attached then reply. Otherwise, choose your sanity and move on. Being capable of cutting losses and moving on is important. That doesn’t mean you can’t be friends but if you can’t handle it and get butthurt when she finds someone a week later who isn’t you….don’t even waste your time. Sure, there’s a chance she would prefer to stay friends and might commit later on but don’t bank on this. Drop your expectations and either stay friends and stop being creepy/rushed and move on. Good luck!
Unrequited love …. Poor dummy, you’re delusional. You you should cut ties and move on. She’ll pretty much always and forever not see you as a viable option. She’s going to keep you around because it’s nice to be adored over. But like a neglected stray dog, she’ll enjoy you coming around from time to time to visit out of pity, but keep it at a far distance, and will most likely never take you in.
– hit the gym
– eat well
– sleep
– do things that will nourish your soul
– don’t do that shit again
– this too shall pass
How can I say this without being a complete a-hole.
You gotta get over her and yourself .
Just cause you say “she is my destiny”
You are acting like she is something you can claim. Did I perhaps miss that she is a piece of land , a family heirloom, an item.
Sorry, dude she is a person. She has her own life dreams and goals.
Also keynote here . You have a problem. You didn’t mention you age in this post at all but it sounds like you are a High-school kid. Straight up skipping everything about trying to get to know her ,dating , and heading to the sheets . You only talked to her for what I can assume 2-3 weeks and already talked about wanting to marry her. The only red flag here is you .
I will answer your questions .
1. No, if your only wanting to be friends so she and you can get married , then leave her alone .
2. Stop trying , she told you No so just back off. If you at a distance cannot change her mind then you can’t change her mind by shoving yourself down her throat
3. Don’t insert yourself in imaginary scenarios with someone till it actually happens .
4. She didn’t seek your attention rather you are seeking hers . You gave her compliments , she told you she didn’t want to be committed and you pushed the envelope. You can’t blame someone for what is your own fault.
You can’t blame the other driver who drove on green , while you ran the red light
She told you that marriage isn’t for her, so a week later you come back a day after you met with “I would love to spend my life with you”?
You’re imagining yourself with the fictional version of her you’ve created in your mind, not who she really is.
Sounds like you need to pull back on your own reins there cowboy… you just committed relationship suicide. “If” she continues to see you. You just maybe put yourself now in a friend zone territory.
To me it’s *you* showing a bunch of pretty big red flags here.
you’re being too desperate and women find that unattractive.
There is no one, no destiny. Millions of women can make you happy for the rest of your life. Stop destroying yourself.
Sorry buddy but all the red flags I’m seeing are coming from you. Just keeping it real.
I mean this w all due respect, she is not the psychologist u need to be seeing.
Wow this is creepy.
Sounds like she liked the attention and she analyzed you