How to tell my dad he smells like poop?

32 comments

1. > I told my mom hoping she would talk to him about it and she said she hadn’t noticed a smell.

   For survival purposes, our sense of smell fades when encountering a familiar odour too frequently (such as stale urine & poop). Your mom’s likely long used to it and her mind’s screened out alerting her to it. But if she does the laundry, surely she’d notice his underwear has a problem at times.

   While embarrassing, I’d nonetheless be candid with Dad and let him know you’d hang around him more if he smelled better. If he asks what you’re referring to, I’d tell him.

2. Has anything changed about his health status that would account for this?

3. If no one else can smell it that’s weird. Some people can smell Parkinson’s disease on other people, it could be something like that.

4. This is a long shot, but —

   There are a variety of metabolic disorders, the most well known of which is called Trimethylaminuria, which affect how the body processes chemicals. Trimethylaminuria, for example, also called “fish odour syndrome”, is the inability to break down trimethylamine, which ends up giving the person what is most often described as a “fishy smell” or a “strong body smell”. This is rarely noticeable to the person who has it or people they live with, because they’re used to it (they’re “nose-blind” to it).

   However, if it is as strong as you say it is, your father should see a doctor about it because while it is in itself harmless, the resulting psychological impact (from people avoiding him, friends not wanting to hang out with him, etc.) can be subtle and devastating in the long term. There is unfortunately no cure, but there are treatment and management plans. It could also be due to other illnesses, like liver or kidney disease.

   If it was an issue of personal hygiene, your mother would very likely suffer from similar issues, but if she does not, it might be health-related for your father. I would suggest considering it less of an embarrassing issue of personal hygiene and more of a genuine medical concern that you want to bring up. You might want to avoid words like “smells like poop” in favour of “unusually strong body odour” when you bring it up.

5. Be sincere, don’t smile or giggle when telling him, and certainly don’t say you smell like poop. Tell him something like this

   Dad, I really don’t know how to say this and I certainly don’t want to overstep but I’ve started noticimg an unflattering smell at times around you. I’m not trying to be funny or hurtful just want to be honest because I love you

   When I’m with friends and see they have something in their teeth for example, I always discreetly let them know, and you know what they always say? Oh my gosh, thank you so much

6. How many other people are living in the house full time? If you’re the only one smelling it, it might just be you.

7. He needs to see a dr. Can be sign of infection.

8. If they smell like that, and at that age, there can be a chance that they could be incontinent (basically can’t hold their bowels); can be a typical aging situation. Everyone is different and this occurs eventually to everyone.

   I worked as a caregiver for a very active and healthy elderly man, his main health issue was incontinence. He wore diapers. But there was at time a smell. It’s not really something that one likes to disclaim to everyone. Esp failing body functions.

9. since its only you, maybe you got covid and your sense of smell is wacky?

10. You might want to check if you’re an HSP (highly sensitive person) specifically with olfactory overload.

    It’s what I have. I smell things very strongly, and it can be overwhelming. Occasionally, that smell can come off as something else. Haven’t had it smell like poop yet, but I have smelled very weird smells as a result.

11. I can smell different diseases. Liver failure, kidney failure, diabetes, someone on antibiotics. I’ve been a nurse for a bit so I’ve seen and smelled a few things. Point being…. Body processes have smells. Would definitely recommend him having a physical.

12. Whatever you do, don’t be hurtful. Jus be very gentle in whatever you do. Maybe say you’ve picked up on something subtle and you were wondering if he’s been to the doctor recently.

13. Maybe he waits until you’re close by to drop nasty farts?

14. Maybe he farts a lot?

15. Wow dad someone dropped a duce here or is just the usually you?

16. Get yourself checked. Smelling something that nobody else is experiencing is a sign of brain disease.

    Tell your family and both your dad and you go for a thorough check up.

17. He might be wearing an adult diaper and or having some medical issues. It happens with age. They are probably not comfortable discussing it with you.

18. I am wondering whether your Dad has piles. If they are very bad sometimes they leak a watery fluid, which would account for the stained underwear. I think they must be difficult to clean after pooping, too. My husband was incapacitated towards the end of his life and I had to wash him – it was a huge shock to me to see his piles! I had no idea what they looked like or how difficult they could be to keep clean. Perhaps your Dad has put off seeing the doctor about piles, like my husband did!

19. Bad breath can smell like poop. Just google „breath smells like poop“ and you will find a lot of results. I think that is the most likely scenario as bad breath affects many people especially when you get older

20. Is it reflux? Many older men have it and it smells like hell

21. A few years back my father started smelling bad and it turned out to be his breath. He wasn’t good about brushing his teeth when he was younger and they were rotting. It was genuinely hard to be around him but after he got his dentures it was like he was a completely new person.

22. He might have halitosis. It may come from poor oral hygiene or some type of acid reflux. Or who knows what. He should probably go to the dentist though. I sometimes smell peoples breath and it smells like… like dog shit. I don’t know how else to explain it. The people I’ve noticed it on were older people though, like 60-70s.

23. I had a similar issue with my dad as he got older. He was a bigger man and I think it was hard for him to wipe properly. I gently addressed it with him once, and he started using baby wipes and stuff when he’d go to the bathroom; it helped a lot.

24. Is he a politician? They tend to shit talk alot 🤣🤣

    Jokes aside, might be hygienic issues. Be blunt and upfront.

25. You should buy him some new soaps, shampoo, deodorant and underwear

26. OP, did you get Covid? Parosmia affects some people who had Covid, and it distorts your smell, making you think people/food/other smells smell like sewage, chemicals or rotten food. Could this be a possibility?

27. Just a thought- have you had covid and, if so, did this start after that? I ask because phantom smells are a very real thing post-covid. I have had minimal sense of smell for almost 18 months post-covid. Periodically, I smell rotting trash or cigarette smoke when they don’t exist. I know it doesn’t happen with everyone, but just thought I would throw it out there!

28. > the smell comes and goes

    Are you sure it’s not just farts? As people age their body changes. He might just be farting a lot.

29. Does he have any gastrointestinal issues you’re aware of? Apparently GERD (gastrointestinal reflux disease) can make someone’s breath smell like poop because of how the stomach acid backs up into the esophagus.

    Could also be just poor dental hygiene that got worse over time. Our mouths are warm and damp. Anything that gets stuck there from not being cleaned properly is bound to accumulate some strong odors.

    Either that, or maybe you yourself have a smell hallucination, phantosmia.

    Did you get covid at all during this pandemic?

30. As people get older they can lose their sense of smell. I had noticed my father smelt really bad- like body odor stink- but only occasionally when he was in his 80s. We finally realized it was certain sweaters. He wasn’t washing his wool sweaters and putting them away every summer, so then when he brought them out again they were musty old sweat smell.

    I’d bring it up gently and tell him you are concerned about health. It may take some detective work to figure out what is causing it.

31. Weird question but have you had covid and if so did you lose your sense of smell and taste.

    The reason I ask is that I recovered from a mild case of covid last year during which I lost my sense of taste and smell. Just recently I have been experiencing weird distortions in my sense of smell. Lots of things smell of poop including my own sweat, onions, egg and various other foods. I’ve confirmed that I don’t actually smell of poop. I don’t experience this smell all the time and I don’t experience this smell with other people’s body odour.

32. Perhaps it’s a medical condition that you aren’t privvy too? A lot of the time parents won’t tell children about health issues for fear of worrying them and often health issues make poeple smell bad/different. Would make sense as to why your mother would pass it off too as most liley she knows the reason.