When I first started masturbating, I didn’t own any toys and only relied on my fingers for pleasure. I find it more pleasurable when I tense up my body and it started becoming a habit for me to tense my legs to achieve orgasm. Now when I have sex with my boyfriend, my legs keep tensing up around him and my boyfriend thinks it’s because I’m nervous.
Every time we have sex, my boyfriend keeps telling me to relax my body. It gets uncomfortable for me because I have really bad headaches my legs get sore after sex if I tense up too much. I googled for help and most of the answers are about masturbation and not about sex. I’d please like advice on how to achieve orgasm without tensing up my body, I’ve tried relaxing and all of the time I ended up not getting to orgasm and I told my boyfriend to stop because he’s getting tired as well.
My BMI is 17.6, I’m slightly underweight and I masturbate about once or twice a week if I ‘m not having sex with my boyfriend because I get horny at home. I just took a medical checkup last month and there were no issues with my health apart from being underweight. Thank you in advance
10 comments
A huge part of climaxing is your mental state, if you are distracted or even too focused on achieving it then it likely won’t happen. You have to try to live in the moment and focus on the pleasure.
Perhaps you can try mutual masturbation as a starting point to bridge the gap between your experience individually vs with your partner.
The somewhat simple answer is that you are used to a variant of a masturbation technique called *syntribation*. And it has over time taught you how to have orgasms in a way that is a bit inconvenient to transfer to when you have sex.
I don’t think anyone has fully determined WHY it works to masturbate like that, but I have seen some half-assed theories,
– when you tense your thigh muscles, they give your bits and pieces an interesting type of nudge from underneath the skin.
– when you tense your thigh muscles, you ALSO at the same time tense your vaginal muscles, and THAT is what it is that actually works.
Think about what it is that happens when you tense your legs, do you somehow ALSO tense your vaginal muscles as well? You probably need to pay attention really well to be able to tell. If that is the key to it, remember that you can totally tense those muscles when you have him in you as well. But it would take some practice to relearn how to do it.
Give it some thought.
Check out r/syntribation there are lots of people with good. Experienced advice in there. Good luck.
I used to come with a lot of leg tension and squeezing my legs together using a pillow. I had to un-train myself because I couldn’t enjoy sex with another person. Part of what I did is get close, then relax and open my legs a tiny bit. It may ruin the orgasm at first, that’s ok. Stick with it. Eventually I could orgasm with my legs open and more relaxed.
I think having a bit of leg tension is normal, but since you’re doing it so much that it’s causing side effects, it could help to practice letting go when you’re alone.
Is the pain afterwards a muscle cramp or different kind of pain?
Definitely try do kegel exercises and then use those when you having sex. Then you still have that squeezing feeling where it counts but not tensing up your legs or whole body.
I do it too. Maybe try clenching your vaginal muscles and not tighten your legs? that helps me
I’m just trying to give advice, I don’t know if it matters if you’re on your back or stomach butt I personally enjoy the prone position, Your legs can be straight Either you and your man could Masturbate you.
This is how I do it as well! I ended up just telling my boyfriend and explaining that I would need more time and help getting off. I had never gotten myself off with my hands so those experiences and feelings were totally new and alien. After awhile I started getting off on that kind of stuff but It definitely took some time. What really
Helped me was realizing that when I tensed my legs I was activating muscles near my g-spot. Nothing was going to get me off unless it was focused on my gspot. Not sure if that helps.
I do the same thing and that’s the only way I can manage to cum. I don’t only tense my whole body but also my Pelvic floor muscles, I squeeze as hard as I can.
It is indeed very tiring and I also have pain all over when I finish (either hands, if I was grabbing on smth or in my boyfriend, legs etc.
I feel I can’t orgasm if I don’t do it
I also realized the harder I squeeze and tense up everything the more intense orgasm will be.